Lolita: Velcome to The Noise’s Halloveen issue. Once a year, The Noise turns dark, creatures crawl between our words and embed themselves in our fonts.
Rita: Yeah, too bad you got the crabs again.
Lolita: Why don’t you just tell the whole world!
Rita: I’m sorry. I promise to keep it to myself. But I would like to hear from all the rockers in town. I’d like to ask them some sort of Trick or Treat Question of the Month.
Lolita: Oooh, you can ask them how they are going to treat the person who tricks them.
Rita: Why? Do you have something special planned for that crab-giver? Let’s just ask, “What is something good, or something bad, that has happened to you recently?” Go ask Amanda-she looks like she’s in a trick or treat mood-
AMANDA PALMER (THE DRESDEN DOLLS): The best thing that happened to me recently was an offer from Osaka, Japan, to be a living statue outside a western-themed Christmas shopping mall. I get to bring an extra actor, and I think I’ll bring Michael Pope and ask him to dress up like Christ on a Christmas-tree cross with a big red bow on his no-no. I think they’ll dig it.
PETER MOORE (COUNT ZERO): I was on tour recently and the opening act’s van broke down on the way to the show. The driver of our tour bus was an Elvis Impersonator in his off-time. He happened to have his Elvis suit with him, and me and the other guys in my band pranced on stage during the opening band’s slot, doing five Elvis songs we just learned in the tour bus. The driver sang the king’s hits, and we backed him up in front of a “festival-sized crowd.” They loved it. And, yup, it was August 16th-the 25th anniversary of the king’s demise.
BRETT LAWRENCE ROSENBERG (ARMY OF JASONS/THE BRETT ROSENBERG PROBLEM/THE RUDDS): I was at the Model quietly sipping my beer when three men in trenchcoats approached the bar. They said they worked for Big Wheel Recreation, hauled me into the street, and stuffed me in the trunk of their Jetta. They drove me to Big Wheel HQ in the Fenway and-at gunpoint-made me sign away my share of royalties from songs I wrote for the last DP’s record. It freaked me out. But afterwards, I went back to the Model and scored with this cute mod girl who works at the Garment District.
Lolita: You know Brett, you’ll believe anything a girl says. I don’t work at the Garment District-I just made that up.
SHADY (PURE FICTION/THE NOISE): I got married in June to the beautiful Mrs. Shady and we went to Mexico for our honeymoon. For once it was all goodski!
RICK BERLIN (THE SHELLEY WINTERS PROJECT): (My Bad) My nearly eight year run at Jacques on Mondays came to an abrupt/heartfelt end last Monday night. Replacement: a full week of Queens. (My Good) Kris Turelli (mgr.) set me up with the first Monday of every month. Thus de-institutionalizing my in-between-the-lines audition to replace Sylvia Sydney as the longest (oldest) continual performer ever. Keeps the idea of initiating first timers and not-before-or-since shows from mainstays in the Boston rock/art circuit alive and inspired at the prettiest/trashiest/hottest upstairs club in New England. PS Jacques had their 72nd anniversary two weeks ago. Is there another venue in town that’s lasted that long?
OEDIPUS (WBCN): The WBCN airstaff partied at my house with Coldplay. A music-filled evening.
LINDA VIENS (LED ZEP II): Our beloved elderly next-door neighbor “Grandpa Gerry Lee” died suddenly in his kitchen while feeding the multitude of neighborhood stray cats, reminding us once again of our fragile hold on life, and its fleeting preciousness. How can it be that I will never hear that sonorous Irish brogue again or hear him whistle in the morning? Sigh-life!
JOHN EYE (ONE OF US): Dying for the second time during some experimental diving for the navy.
BEEFY SCOTT (BEEFY/DC): Well, something good is that I got to be the drummer in the new J Mascis & The Fog video. But that could be bad because I suck at drums. Or that could be good ’cause it’s funny, or bad ’cause I look like a friggin’ fool. Yeah, it’s bad, but in a funny way, I guess.
HARI OMAR HASSIN (QUTTER/ROADSAW/BLUE MAN GROUP): Oddly enough it’s the same answer for both questions. I lost my cell phone in a taxi cab in Manhattan, which sucked. A day later Bob Maloney (Quitter) gets a call from a girl on my phone trying to find me. This does not suck because as everybody knows the chances of this are slim. The one girl in New York that’s still honest finds my phone and the thing that sucks the very least is that said young lady happens to be a model and now I’m nailing her.
Lolita: Funny how I can make up any profession and guys always believe me. Hari thinks he left his phone in a taxi-I stole it from him at his NY gig!
ROCK NEWS
Rita: You know that Lolita and I are two of Boston’s biggest local music cheerleaders. But do you know the winners of last year’s Grand National Cheerleading Championship? The Northeastern University Cheerleading Team! They will be performing with THREE DAY THRESHOLD at 3DT’s CD release party, October 18th at Axis from 5-10 PM.
MIKE GENT (THE GENTLEMEN/THE FIGGS) married LEANNE SCOTT (POOR LITTLE RICH GIRL) on 8/24/02.
You can now listen to twenty-five WMFO On The Town performances recorded live from Studio Dee. Go to druglessdouglas.com, and follow the links to the “On The Town with Mikey Dee” pages.
PIEBALD cancelled their tour with DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL, due to TRAVIS SHETEL’s surgery to remove blood blisters on his vocal cords. The band is relocating to Los Angeles but you can still see them in Rolling Stone!
South by Southwest (SXSW) Music and Media Conference’s 17th edition will take place March 12-16, 2003. For more info write sxsw@sxsw.com or call 512-467-7979.
Billed as “New England’s largest one day musician gathering,” the Fall 2002 Boston Vintage Guitar Show and Musician’s Swapmeet will take place on Sunday, 11/17 at Waltham High School. For display or table rentals for larger accumulations contact the promoter, Kevin Kopec at 508-865-5935 or visit website bostonguitarshow.com.
SHILO McDONALD (INTELLIGENT RECORDS) is no longer available, girls. He went out to West Virginny on 9/1/02 and got himself hitched up with Linsey.
AARON BELYEA (ALPHABET ARM) was busy in September, getting married and vacationing in sunny St. Lucia.
JOHNNY ANGEL (x-BLACK JACKS. SWINGING ERUDITES) became a dad. Xerxes Marcus Jacob was born on 9/12/02.
Jacques Underground (yes, the downstairs of Jacques) is now having bands every Friday and Saturday night. For booking or more information please email jacquesunder@aol.com.
The Middle East Downstairs has a new dressing room, complete with bathroom, to the left of the stage.
Three members of KICKED IN THE HEAD (Resurrection A.D. Records) have picked up endorsement deals. Drummer ANTHONY MODANO is now endorsed by Vater Percussion (drumstick makers since 1956), and RYAN DOWD and MATT SANOCKI have linked up with Mesa/Boogie.
The Pond was shut down for a while in mid-September for code issues.
PEET GOLAN (KRANKSQUAD/WALTHAM) is so dedicated to rock that even when he badly twisted his foot on stage (on 8/23 at the Green Room), he played the rest of the show on his back. He played two more shows before he finally went to see a doctor and found out he broke his ankle. He’ll be in a cast for seven and a half weeks.
FRANK PINO (WALTHAM) is opening Pino Bros. Ink (1100 Cambridge St., Cambridge), a tattoo and piercing emporium, on 10/26. Call 781-727-1880 for an appointment.
The Smithsonian is opening a spy museum in Washington DC, and in celebration, they’ve put together a compilation CD called The Greatest Spy Music Ever, distributed by Time/Life. Alongside “Secret Agent Man” and “The James Bond Theme” is THE PILLS’ “I’ve Got My Spies On You.”
Lolita: I can’t help but notice how that title is a complete rip off of the name of our column-word for word it’s exactly the same thing. That CORIN ASHLEY is always trying to cop something from us. You’d think that having us pop out of his bachelor party cake au natural would be enough, but no, we had to sing “I’ve Got My Thighs On You” while playing giddyup cowboy with all his pals.
TRICKS AND TREATS
Rita: I’d ask if Lolita was riding Western or English style, but somehow I know she was bareback. On with the good or bad experiences-
THE DUKE OF BELGIAN WAFFLES (FREEZEPOP/SYMBION PROJECT): I crashed a firewire drive with both the new Freezepop album and new Symbion Project album, wept, tore my hair out, tried religion, gave up technology for good, moved into a shack and began my manifesto, moved back home, ran disk warrior, saved hard drive, all is good.
MATTLEY MOUNTAIN (DIRTY DOCTORS 2600/DICKY SMALLS & THE DEEP CUNTS): Girls!
SHAUN WOLF WORTIS (GATO MALO/FAMILY JEWELS, LEAH CALLAHAN/PLASTIC CHEESE): I produced Leah Callahan’s solo album. That was good. Family Jewels had some great nights at the Lizard Lounge. That was good. Had a bizarre falling out with the Kirkland Cafe. That was bad. (Actually more sad, and utterly bizarre, than anything though.) Saw the Red Sox collapse. That was bad. Enjoyed first weeks of football season. That was good. My belly hurt. That was bad. Then it got better. That was good. It’s been a mix, basically.
RICHIE HOSS (THE DRAGS/THE NOISE): Good thing: I didn’t get laid off. Bad Thing: I didn’t get laid off. Turns out I just want a paycheck, not a career.
MERRIE AMSTERBURG (MERRIE AMSTERBURG): One of the good things that happened to me recently is that I heard an amusing anecdote. I was walking in the woods this summer and somehow got off of my familiar path. Wandering, I came upon an ancient cottage-type house, in a small clearing. An old wizened woman was sitting on the front steps, whittling some sort of wooden doll. I walked toward her, she looked up and gave me a strange, semi-toothless grin. She beckoned me near, but I could barely hear her raspy voice. As I bent down near her, she told me an amusing anecdote!
Lolita: AND?! That’s it? I wish guys would tease me like that.
ETTO GREEN (PSYCHOTIC LARRY): At one of our recent all-ages shows, some kid decided to prop a young lass on his shoulders while in the parking lot with his friends. We were inside doing our set. While running around with her propped up there, he trips, falls and smashes HER face down into the pavement. Ambulance and fire truck rushed to the scene, which cleared out our audience completely. He later approached me and for some reason “confessed” to me that he did this during our set. The guilt he was feeling for this girl’s accident was massive. Serves him right. He should’ve been inside watching us.
ALEXPLOSIVE (LIVESEXACT): Things just don’t HAPPEN to me-I MAKE them happen, because I have real ultimate power, and if you don’t believe that, you’d better get a life right now, or I’ll chop your head off! It’s an easy choice, if you ask me.
Lolita: Alex, maybe you should try the decaf.
CARL BIANCUCCI (KENNE HIGHLAND & HIS VATICAN SEX KITTENS): Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am currently living the life of a full-time musician, and loving EVERY minute of it. It doesn’t pay a whole lot, but I am sickeningly happy these days.
SUZI LEE (THE JELLYROLL-ERS): This morning my 11-month old baby Sophie looked in my eyes, said “ma-ma!” and wrapped little arms around my neck and gave me a huge hug. Then, she bit me on the shoulder with all eight of her very sharp little teeth!
JOE KOWALSKI (ALL THE QUEEN’S MEN/PROJECT ENO/ONLYONE): I woke up and got a coffee. And it was good. And I found myself onstage, rubbed down with silver body glitter and playing Brian Eno music with some psychotically talented, oddball musicians (you can’t beat looking across the stage and seeing Crazy Eddie with a big smile on his face while you’re backing Peter Moore and Gene Dante). And that was good. And then I had to go to my day job. That wasn’t too great. But then I played with All The Queen’s Men, and that truly rocked. And then I woke up and got some coffee…
LEXI (THE NOISE/ALTARNATIVE. COM): Goddamn freakin’ silver body glitter.
IAN KENNEDY (REVERSE): Something bad: Lost my cushy work-at-home dot-com job. Something good: Lost my cushy work-at-home dot-com job.
IZZY MAXWELL (LEDZEPII/HEDWIG): Livesexact asked me to fill in on drums with them, which was good, but I soon found out that there’s actually no live sex involved, which was bad. Then, to my surprise, I found there was in fact live sex involved, after the show in the tour bus, which was good, but then I got the crabs, that was bad.
Lolita: I knew I’d figure out who lent me those little critters. I’m done with them-can you come take them back now?
MUSICAL CHAIRS
Rita: We never talk about the person who gets knocked out of the competition when the music stops. But that makes sense. We only talk about the winners. THE DENTS is fronted by JEN RASSLER (DOWNBEAT FIVE) and MICHELLE PAULHUS (x-DECALS), with GINO ZANETTI (x- DECALS) on drums, and TONY SAVARINO (GIVE) on lead guitar.
ROBOTVOICE includes members of BLACK HELICOPTER and PORNBELT.
MARY TODD LINCOLN’s corpse is apparently being moved to the west coast, thereby putting an end to the STINKIN’ LINCOLNS.
DESTRUCT-A-THON has a new drummer-the brutally sick ERIC “YOUNG BLOOD” O’BRIEN.
THE CHUBBS feature BOB SENSI (JERRY’S KIDS).
Violinist TARO HATANAKA has made VICTORY AT SEA a 4-piece.
There’s a new rhythm section for THE HIGH CEILINGS-bassist RON RILEY (x-JOINT CUSTODY) and drummer JOHN FARRELL (x-JANKE/WAKING OPHELIA).
DICK TATE (THE STRANGEMEN) is now managing the Middle East Downstairs.
CAT PUCKETT has parted with VOLITION and is looking to put something new together-contact her at volitioncat@yahoo.com.
SUPER-CANNES is a new band featuring DOUG VARGAS and DANNY LEE (both x-CXEMA), and DAVID KIRKDORFFER (LITTLE A/UNDO).
THE SLEEPWALKERS have awakened… found they were hungry… and became CANNIBAL KINGS.
TOMMY STEWART (x-GODSMACK) is replacing drummer MICHAEL MANGINI when TRIBE OF JUDAH supports the release of Exit Elvis (Spitfire Records).
THE PRETTIEST GURLS consists of RAYMOND NEADES (BEEFY/DC), MIKE TOCKER (JIGSAWS/MAJOR MAJOR) and TONY GODDESS (PAPAS FRITAS).
Lolita: During our anniversary party, The Prettiest Gurls (ahem… why weren’t we asked to be in the band?) were playing upstairs while The Other Girls (who are the real prettiest girls) were playing downstairs-almost as confusing as these mix and match bands-The Chubbs/Chubby; Fat Day/Fat Can/Fat City; Invisible Downtown/Invisible Beatniks; I Love You/Love The World; The Good North/The Great Northern; The Electrolytes/Electrolux.
THE GOOD, THE BAD, IT’S ALL UGLY
Rita: Why would you name your band Electrolux? Those vaccuum cleaners literally suck. But then so does Lolita. Here are more answers to our Question of the Month-
MIKE PIEHL (REVERSE): Something good: made myself an open-faced peanut butter sandwich. Something bad: it fell, business side down… fuck!
SUE O. (THE NOISE): Something good = boyfriend. Something bad = ex-boyfriend. Something ugly = restraining order.
COWBOY MACH BELL (LAST MAN STANDING/x-THUNDERTRAIN): The good thing is that the wildmen out at Bloomington Indiana’s Gulcher Records (Gizmos, Afrika Korps, Mx-80 Sound) have a brilliantly re-mastered Teenage Suicide CD set for release later this year. That notorious 1977 Thundertrain album will now include bonus tracks and a fat booklet full of cool stories and photos. Bad thing happened while sidewalk surfing down in Brant Rock, some jerk ripped off my Slick Pig CD.
CHRIS RUCKER (FNX RADIO): The fact that Slapshot is getting it together for Back to School Jam 2002 is something good that has happened to Boston recently. Other positive happenings include the Fenway Recordings release In Our Lifetime Volume 3: The Revenge of Boston, new Lot Six disk on Espo Records, Deathwish Inc., The Sharks! and the upcoming return of The Paradise rock club.
MARK HENG (THE JUMBLIES): Our album, By the Light of a Blue Moon, got finished. I was stressing out about the cover art, but I think it came out looking great! (I know, shameless plug).
Lolita: And we don’t let shameless plugs go unpunished, unless we’re doing the plugging. I sentence you to two months of hard labor-which includes back massages for me and Rita every day!
JESSE THOMAS (FIESEL): At the show we played tonight, there was a girl dancing around in her bra. That was pretty good.
DAVE TREE aka RIVER aka DAVE DRUGS (TREE/DRUG WAR): A good thing that happened to me was I got a job painting rich people’s houses. A bad thing that happened to me was I got a job painting rich people’s houses.
Lolita: Who said you could take a break? Get back up on that ladder and start movin’ that brush. And when you’re done, come into my bedroom to discuss the method of payment.
CHRIS COTE (ROCKBOTTOM/SEKS BOMBA/UPPER CRUST): I managed to renew my expired license, registration, and inspection sticker in one day before the county mounties pulled me over as usual.
JOEL SIMCHES (SONIC ENHANCEMENT SPECIALISTS, LTD.): I saw a brawl between two “trailer park” girls outside a club in Providence. This older woman in a very small mini-dress kept mixing it up with this younger woman. Her boyfriend kept pulling away, literally kicking and punching in the air, to get her back in the car. Policemen on horses came up to mollify the situation when the older woman punched the horse… twice!! She then ran back to the car of the younger woman and started pounding on the window. The two started mixing it up and got down on the pavement. It must have taken six guys to pull them apart. Maybe not good or bad, but definitely surreal!
KIER BYRNES (THREE DAY THRESHOLD): I’ve been lucky enough to become friends with Northeastern University’s National Champion Cheerleading Squad. Man, do they have some of the hottest cheerleaders! Today they were bending over in their tiny little skirts trying to show me a new routine they learned in practice. They said if I treat them nice they’ll wear their little cheerleading skirts to our CD release party and help cheer us on.
KAREN DEBIASSE (GIRL ON TOP): The worst thing that happend lately is that we got ripped off from scalpers who said our Rolling Stones tickets would be right next to the stage and when we got there we were so far away I couldn’t even see them if not for the video screens.
Lolita: Honey, anyone and everyone going to that show got ripped off. Can you say “steep ticket prices!”
CLUBLAND
Rita: Keep your eyes on Lolita, she’ll be at these afordable shows-FREEZEPOP plays their synthpop at The Middle East on Thursday, 10/10.
HEDWIG & THE ANGRY INCH opens on Friday, 10/11, and plays every weekend in October plus Halloween night at the ICA (955 Boylston St., Boston).
MS. PIGEON’s CD release flies through The Abbey on Friday and Saturday, 10/11 and 10/12.
QUITTER plays The Middle East Downstairs on Saturday, 10/12.
THE MOCKINGBIRDS will have them flocking to The Linwood on Friday 10/25.
TOOTSIE rocks The Kirkland on 11/2.
Lolita: Don’t be shy now.
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