MOMS, WAR & HEALTH           Rita: Hello comrades. It’s May 2008—Mother’s Day will go on as scheduled—so will a war based on lies—and we’re still supposed to pay attention to our health. Those are the three topics we’ll discus in this column. Lolita: I remember when all we talked about was sex. Rita: Yeah, you still do. How did your Lovefest go? Lolita: Thanks for asking. It was love-squared event. Well, all except that time during the Peace Chorus set … Read More >>

OUR EYES ON YOU: April 2008

LOLITA’S SECRET Lolita: We’re back from our online-only issue and anxious to hear all about your spring plans. Rita: Aren’t we the one’s who are supposed to tell the readers what going on? Lolita: Well, you can do what you want. I like to know what the readers do. Rita: Maybe you’re in the wrong business. Lolita: Maybe you should take the stick out of your butt and open up that mind of yours! Wait a second—I’m sorry for saying … Read More >>

OUR EYES ON YOU: March 2008

Rita: Welcome to our second annual March online-only issue. It’s this cold winter month that we choose to save a tree by sparing the paper that goes into making a print issue of The Noise, and advise our business supporters to look at the numbers that this site (and thenoiseboard.com) generate. Getting your news online makes sense ecologically, but will the feeling of opening your newspaper at the breakfast table ever really disappear? Lolita: Normally I don’t wake up ’til … Read More >>

OUR EYES ON YOU: February 2008

CHOCOLATE, HEARTS, & KISSES Lolita: It’s February and by mid-month everyone will be sending me chocolate, hearts, and kisses. Rita: What about it being Black History Month? Lolita: Yes, all races send me chocolate, hearts, and kisses. Rita: But, I mean let’s focus on it being Black History Month instead of the month that includes Valentine’s Day. Lolita: Well, if it means anything to you, I do prefer dark chocolate. Rita: You’re impossible. Think of a Question of the Month … Read More >>

OUR EYES ON YOU: December 2007

  RITA’S RANT Rita: I’m mad as hell that our political system has been manipulated to serve those who are elected instead of serving the people. That’s complete bullshit. Taxpayers’ money is being funneled into a military machine that disrupts lives with torture and murder. We have to stand up. We’ve got to speak out. We have to be smarter than the assholes that try to trick us at every turn. Lolita: And then we’ve got the presidential candidates with … Read More >>

OUR EYES ON YOU: Novemer 2007

Rita: Ahhh, November is here—time to kick back, throw on a coat you love, and get involved with your favorite cause. Lolita: So, you’re gonna get political on us? Rita: I like being involved with real people. It beats the hell out of sitting behind my computer all day talking with my fingers. Plus I like the touch of a human. Lolita: Sometimes after too many hours of work, I just want to kick back, relax, and do something illegal. … Read More >>


Rita: Welcome to my favorite issue of the year—the dark Halloween issue. This issue is so dark it will leave black on your hands. Lolita: The black organic soy ink is delicious and serves well with blood. I’ve made a habit of dicing up a Halloween issue and sprinkling it on my black rice. And this issue is especially delicious since I managed to bring back some of Paris for the cover. Those skulls and bones are from the catacombs … Read More >>


  LOOKING BACK ON THE SUMMER Keep it goin’ on strong and straight And use your heart and all your might and all your weight and all your power Do what you can to make it last for many hour Because once your dead you’re done, you don’t come back. ~Mr. Butch Rita: Wise words from a wise man whom we will miss. Do you know that one day Mr. Butch found $300 on the street and handed it out … Read More >>