Rita & Lolita



T Max: April could not have come early enough this year. Now that spring has sprung there’s no looking back, and all I can see right now are bits of flesh that have been hidden for months. And speaking of showing flesh, may I introduce a pair of girls that are not shy about showing off their… Lolita: …Skill with words. Thank you T Max. Now we have a lot of serious work to do. Bye! We are in fact developing a prayer of thanks for the music in our lives. Without it we would be lost uninteresting souls. Rita: It’s not just music—it’s science, nature, and any form of performance that one takes on. Apollo, the god of music, also claimed the throne of light and the sun, truth and prophecy, healing, and poetry. Lolita: He was quite a guy. Rita: The hymns sung to him were called paeans. Lolita: So let’s start paeing.


Rita: While Lolita screeches her tone-deaf ode to Apollo, I’m going to ask my friends where and when that’d go if I let them borrow our Time Machine.  JON BUTCHER (Jon Butcher Axis): I’d set the controls for six million BC, when Man first started walking upright and organized themselves into tribes. I figure that’s just about the time First Man #1 brained First Man #2 in the name of politics. I’d nip that crazy %#$* in the bud right at the source, starting with First Man #1. Kinda like hitting the human sociology reset button. *** LINDA VIENS (Kingdom of Love): The year is 1894, London,  and I am attending Oscar Wilde’s play The Importance of Being Earnest with friends and dining with Oscar into the wee hours afterwards… drinking and talking and laughing and gossiping. *** PETE WEISS (Verdant Studio/ Armory Sound/ The Weisstronauts): August 1965, Los Angeles, to be a fly on the wall when the Beatles met Elvis. Rita: Yes, that would be something to see how they acted with each other. Pete: By all accounts it was quite awkward.  Apparently they “jammed” a bit (with Elvis on bass!)  Also, curiously, no one seemed to remember to take any photos of the meeting!  Mysterious… *** PREACHER JACK (Preacher Jack): December 4, 1956, Sun Record Studios – Memphis, TN. Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis Presley, and Carl Perkins are the “Million Dollar Quartet.” To be in that room, on that day must have been magical. “Peace in the Valley,” “When the Saints Go Marchin’ In,” and “Brown-Eyed Handsome Man” sung by those crazy cats that invented this wonderful world of music we grew up with! *** SHAWN WOLF WORTIS (Gato Malo/Legendary Vudu Krewe): The summer of 1789 in Paris. I just can’t help but be curious. ***DAVID SIMMONS (Girl On Top): Ride the Time Machine back to 1969 when rock ’n’ roll was alive and well and break the Time Machine. Want to start a band with Jimi Hendrix, John Bonham, John Paul Jones, Steven Marriott, and Rory Gallagher. *** JON MACEY (Fox Pass): No doubt I would head for 1965 NYC. Catch Bob Dylan, Miles Davis, early Velvets, Lenny Bruce. Go dancing in the original discos to bubble-gum music. Maybe have lunch with Jeff Barry as he was getting ready to write the Monkees tunes. Find a Warhol babe to sleep with. *** KIER BYRNES (Three Day Threshold): I’d like to go back in time and have a few drinks with Jesus Christ. Firstly, I think he sounds like a great guy. Secondly, I’d like the opportunity to get a better understand of the whole Christianity thing of his, and know just what went down. Also, I’d bring a bunch of extra jugs of water as I’d like to appreciate firsthand the turning water into wine trick. *** BRIAN YOUNG (WMFO): Definitely Woodstock. So many of my favorites on one stage. My favorite all-time band is the Rolling Stones who did not attend, but if I said Altamont Speedway, Saturday, December 6, 1969, with my luck a Hell’s Angel would probably smack my head in with a leaded-down pool cue! *** RUBY BIRD (Bird Mancini): I’d fast-forward to the coming Kingdom, and would hopefully see all my family, friends, and all of you there with me. “And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” (Rev. 21:4)  Lolita: Well, it sounds so good, I might hitch an early ride.


Rita: Yes, this news doesn’t ever get to the TV—so read it here, or you’ll never know what is going on with New England music.  OEDIPUS can be heard on Saturday mornings at 10:00 on RadioBDC (boston.com), The Oedipus Project, but you’ll never believe what else he’s been up to—Google “Oedipus’ Message to Thailand.” *** RICHIE PARSONS has a new self-named band that includes BROTHER CLEVE, TOM LONG, FRANK DEHLER, and DOUG HARPER. *** JON BUTCHER will honor the music of Jimi Hendrix at the Larcom Theatre (Beverly MA) on April 26. *** Let’s Go to The Rat (the book) is now available as a Kindle book on Amazon. *** MACAULEY CULKIN’s band, THE PIZZA UNDERGROUND, plays Church in Boston on 4/19. The band does Velvet Underground songs about pizza. *** DARLINGSIDE (our personal favorite act of 2013) won Pop Act of the Year in the New England Music Awards. *** ATWOOD’S celebrates their eighth anniversary on May 1st with the BOW THAYER BAND. *** ERIN HARPE & THE DELTA SWINGERS hop the pond to tour the UK throughout April. Lolita: I bet they will sell a lot of their T-shirts—it’s the best T-shirt design I’ve seen in a while. *** BAILEY’S BAND plays their 20th anniversary show at the Met Cafe in Pawtucket RI on April 20. The aforementioned Pizza band is also on the bill. *** Violinist CLARA KABABIAN cut her ties with the MC4 so they picked up GEOFF PANGO and changed their name to FUN ERA FIFTY. They’re debuting at the Paradise Cafe in Dedham, MA, on Saturday, May 17. *** THE EMILY GROGAN BAND has a new bass player—DAVE HENRIQUEZ—catch them at the Cantab in Cambridge on April 19.  *** SHAKE THE FAITH will reunite on June 22 at Royal Boston. *** Quiet Desperation is back on TV.  The show signed with myTV38, which is part of CBS, and will air starting on Sunday, April 13 at 12:30 in the afternoon, with re-runs Saturday night at 12:30. They’re playing April 19 at the Cantab with their original guitarist MARK BOWDEN who is flying in from Portland, OR, for the show. *** At first we thought that WEMF radio was a joke, but it looks like it’s for real and will start broadcasting on April 1. The man behind it all is the lead sing of the Bentmen and head honcho of the Sound Museum, WILLIAM DESMOND, or who most people know as DES. *** Drummer extraordinaire BRIAN VIGLIONE (Dresden Dolls/Violent Femmes) tied the knot with OLYA FORMINA on March 7. They met because of Black Flag. *** THE VAN GOGH BROTHERS fronted by Academy Award-winner KIETH CARRADINEwere played on NCIS (CBS) Rock in a Hard Place episode on March 18. *** MEMBERS OF MORPHINE WITH JEREMY LYONS, a.k.a. THE EVER EXPANDING ELASTIC WASTE BAND, have changed their name to VAPORS OF MORPHINE—try them every Wednesday at Atwood’s. *** BOSTON (the band) goes on an extensive tour starting on June 5, playing almost every day ’til Aug. 24. The only New England date is June 28 at Mohegan Sun Arena in Uncasville, CT. *** New England finalists in the 2013 International Songwriting Competition are Alexis Babini, Adam Tressler of Easton, CT, (Americana), Jesse Terry of Stonington, CT (Americana), Tom McBride of Boston, MA (Americana), Alastair Moock of Medford, MA (Children’s Music), Will Dailey of Boston, MA (folk/singer/songwriter), Bruno Raberg of Lexington, MA (jazz), Jason Anick of Boston, MA (jazz), and Kyle Bent of Randolph, MA (R&B/Hip Hop). Rita: Congratulations to all the New England finalists.


Lolita: Okay, It’s my turn to lend out the Time Machine, and if you all don’t stop pushin’ I’m gonna send you all home! Chandler, start talking’ or go to the end of the line. CHANDLER TRAVIS (…Philharmonic/ The Cat Birds/ Three-O): 1929; Cotton Club, NYC; Duke Ellington with the Jungle Band (or maybe the Orioles in 1957 at some small club. also in NYC; or Jackie Wilson, ditto; or lots more, all probably in NYC.). *** CHUCK U ROSINA (WMBR/WMFO): I would go to San Francisco, 1966.  Buy an old Victorian  in the Haight real cheap; get settled in just in time to fully embrace the Summer of Love.  I would go to the Monterey Pop Festival, and see Jefferson Airplane, Country Joe & the Fish, Jimi Hendrix, The Who, Otis Redding, and so many others. The innocence, the experimentation, the psychadelia, and the belief that anything is possible.  What a thrill. Then reality hit in 1968, but that’s another story for another day.  All told, the Summer of Love lasted just a little longer then the physical Occupy Movement.  Both had fairly large impacts on society. *** HARRY ZARKADES (Pop Gun): There is no such thing as a time machine. Believing in a time machine is like believing the earth is on;y 6,000 years old. It’s nonsense that ignores science and our own cognitive abilities. It is completely counter-productive to waste time thinking about such bullcrap. I refuse to participate. Unless I can go to Renaissance Florence. *** ANDY MILK (The Vital Might): I’d go to imperial Roman times and hang out with Nero and find out if he was as bad/crazy of a guy as everyone says, or just misunderstood. *** PAUL HANSEN (The Grownup Noise): I would grab as much gin, wine, and beer that I can carry and take the time machine back to the time of the real, historical Buddha (hopefully he actually existed) and spend all my energy trying to get him to drink with me, but then we would still travel around, like he did, convincing folks that their problems are bullcrap. All the while, becoming good friends and drinking buddies.  That’s best-case scenario. *** FRANCIS DIMENNO (The Noise/ The Wrong Hero): I will go to the time just prior to the big bang when I will come face to face with the illimitable void and finally find some peace and quiet. *** A.J. WACHTEL (Future Gynecologist): I would like to go back to Clear Lake, IA and be at their ballroom on the night of Feb. 3, 1959, to hear and hang with Buddy Holly during his last concert. I would no doubt drink all of his band’s beer and convince him not to fly to his next gig. I would also like to go back to all the Blind Lemon Pledge gigs I attended during the years and make sure BLP doesn’t drink all of HIS group’s band beers. I would have liked to have seen Blind Lemon once without a drop of liquor in him to witness the legend in all of his glory onstage. I heard he was an icon when he was sober. ***MARTY WHITE (Fun Era Fifty/Funeral Barkers/ Zen Armada): I would go back to Aug 15 through 19, 1969, on Max Yasgur’s farm in Bethel, NY. There was a rather large group of people gathered for what was to become the greatest concert in history—Woodstock. I would have especially wanted to be conscious for Hendrix’s “Star- Spangled Banner,” Santana’s drummers drum solo and my favorite Joe Cocker cover of “A Little Help From My friends.” I would be with my best friends at the time Ron Goulart and Jack Swinson and we’d be hanging with Mr. Curt and Ms. Donna who were actually there. I don’t think it could be any better than that. *** DAVE WESTNER (Woolly Mammoth Sound): Well, if I could bring some kind of recording device with me, I wouldn’t care where or when I went, as long as it was before the invention of audio recording.  Things I’d like to record: Native American folk songs, J.S. Bach’s organ improvisations, ancient Egyptian music from the time when the Sphinx was made…etc…you get the idea. Lolita: I guess you’d get credited with the invention of a recording device as a bonus. Dave: Hmmm.  That could have some interesting butterfly effects… like maybe auto-tune would be totally unfashionable by 2014?  



Recently a restaurant owner mentioned the notion of musicians “competing” in a small area.  For example, the city of Boston and the surrounding communities that comprise its North Shore.  I disagreed with his idea, but I’m the passive-aggressive type, and decided a public letter to T Max was preferable to a public argument.

  Undeniably, there are more talented musicians than there are paying gigs (its simple math).  That said, I still find it hard to believe we are competing.  The musicians who have the best gigs, in my experience, have more often than not been the best musicians.  I learn from them by listening to their music and learning to play it, going to their gigs, meeting kindred spirits and expanding the circle.  If you really want that gig, a good first step is to let them know that you are interested and prepared if ever needed.

   I believe artists only compete against themselves.  What are you doing to get that Big Gig you want?  Okay, reading The Noise is an acceptable answer.

Joe Cardoza (hopeful John Powhida International Airport bass sub)

Lolita: Thank you Joe for writing. Let’s discuss this topic online at the end of our column (make your comments) and we’ll see how people feel about this subject.

RIP: DOUG MASCOTT (WMWM)—the kindest guy who always showed his support for the musicians around him. His lovable presence will be missed.

RIP: CHIP DAMIANI, drummer for Barry & the Remains, died of a brain hemorrage on 2/23/14.

RIP: ANDERSON MAR (Dark Sky Productions/Sans Nomenclature) died on 3/28/14 from fire-related injuries. She was a big promoter of Boston music and a performer herself. She also worked a School of Rock in Watertown, MA.

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