OUR EYES ON YOU: May 2010

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Rita: April showers bring May flowers. Lolita:
Has that boat pulled into port again?
Rita: I’m into flowers this year because flowers
attract birds.
Lolita: And I am transforming into a bird. Rita:
I’ll admit you do have a birdbrain, and some people think you’re
as pretty as a bird, but I would really just like you to fly away.
Lolita:
But then you’d be left to write this gossip column by yourself—and
I’m not sure you’re capable of that.
Rita: Last time you criticized my writing, you
landed in the hospital—by accident, of course. Remember that male
nurse that really took to you?
Lolita: Ahh yes—Robert—he gave me a sponge bath
every two hours.
Rita: Let’s ask our favorite music-related friends
what kind of experiences they’ve had with nurses.
Lolita: Well, there’s Dave, Dave, Dave, and Dave—I’ll
start out by asking them…

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NURSES

Lolita: Hey Dave-times-four—tell me a story about
a nurse.
DAVID MIRABELLA (the Rationales): Recently an older relative
was in the hospital, listening to his iPod when a young nurse came in
and asked him what he was listening to. “Levon Helm, but you probably
don’t know him,” he said, assuming she didn’t know her rock history.
She replied “Oh my god! I LOVE the Band and just went to see a Last
Waltz tribute show at a club called the Lizard Lounge, but you probably
haven’t heard of it.” He got a kick out of the dual wrong assumptions,
particularly since he knew the Rationales had played that show. ***
DAVID KIRKDORFFER
(the Blank Attack/ Undo): My darling sweetheart is a charge nurse in
an emergency room. The stories she tells about her work and ERs would
horrify you. Like police officers and firefighters, ER nurses are on
the front line. Anytime I think I have a bad day at work, I know my
“bad day” is tame compared to hers. Nobody dies on me, or needs
a catheter inserted, or needs a sponge bath to remove caked on “dirt,”
or brings their psychotic family members along, or threatens to sue
me. She’s my hero. ***
DAVID
DELUCA
(Highway Ghosts): I
have a nurse story. My daughter, Danielle, was born five weeks premature
and weighed a mere 3lbs 9oz. She had to stay in the hospital for two weeks.
One particular nurse, Bella, really stood out. She told me (in a heavy
Russian accent) “you don’t worry about this one… she’s feisty.”
Over the next two weeks, Bella taught me all about caring for a premature
baby. Her confidence and amazing nursing skills gave my entire family
the reassurance that we desperately needed.
Lolita: Good answer. David: Thank you. I should also mention that
the nurse was right! Danielle is now about 17 lbs and very healthy and
happy. *** DAVE TREE (SuperPower/DrugWar/Tree): My grandmother
was a nurse and so is my little sister Ellen. She works at Brigham &
Women's in the ICU. She called me up one day to visit a terminally ill
patient that was a big Tree fan. I went and hung out with him one afternoon
and brought him a bunch of cool stuff. He was a great guy. My sister’s
gift touched us both very deeply. It was an honor. He passed away a
few days later. Doctors can fix you but it’s the nurses that heal
you.***
BRIAN KING (What Time Is It, Mr. Fox?):When I was four,
I had to stay in Children’s Hospital for awhile. A family friend bought
me a toy police set to cheer me up, including handcuffs that could only
be unlocked with a key. A very timid nurse on her first day of work
soon found herself handcuffed to my bedpost. The key was nowhere to
be found. The other nurses had to saw her free as she held back the
tears. I publicly apologize for any emotional damage I might have caused.
Or if she’s become a dominatrix as a result, I wish her a lucrative
career. ***
SAMMY MIAMI (Houndstone): My grandmother was a nurse in
the United States Army. While stationed overseas during World War II
she tended to sick, wounded and dying soldiers. After the war, she raised
a family while continuing as a volunteer nurse for disabled veterans.
She was a truly amazing woman that I will forever miss. There’s more
to the story written in a song I call “Grandma.” ***
GENO JOHNSTON
(Dead Friends): When I was a kid I had several eye operations. The recovery
room at Children’s Hospital in Boston was bewildering because I woke
up blind, sick, and terrified. I was probably about seven. Then a nurse
came in to take off my patches and she looked exactly like Florence
Henderson of the
Brady
Bunch
. And get this! It said
Nurse Brady on her nametag! She was kind, comforting, and made the whole
process as pleasant as possible. Nurse Brady also let me believe she
was in fact Mrs. Brady from the
Brady
Bunch
. Obviously I haven’t
forgotten her. ***
RICK
BERLIN
(self): My friend Charlie—sick
in Prague: a well-conditioned, hot, middle-aged blonde, tight pantsuit,
glossy magazines under one arm, disappears behind a mystery door. One
of three on a yellow wall opening and closing like cuckoo clocks. What’s
going on in there? Prague porn? She emerges, mild sweat on brow, an
elder statesman MD to translate. She dyke-straddles a stainless steel
three-legged stool, knees apart, nose in Charlie’s mouth. Ungloved
fingers up nostrils, into throat, gums, under tongue—unperturbed.
He gags. A twelve-minute exam. Translator exits. Nurse writes up pills.
Charlie is oddly pleased.
Lolita: What a strange experience. Rick: Sadly, the end results was HIV-positive.
***
BILL GOFFRIER (Big Dipper/ the Embarrassment): My favorite
ever nurse, Big Dipper bassist/ songwriter/ tour-mom Steve Michener,
an RN in the state of Washington. ***
FRANCIS
DIMENNO
(Wrong Hero/ the Noise):
At about the age of seven I fell off a slide and was sent to the hospital
with a broken wrist and a fractured skull. The doctor had to stitch
my scalp without anesthesia, and he kept saying “Just one more…
just one more….” The nurse, who was standing by, kept saying, “Stop
lying to him, Frank!”
Lolita: Ha! I love that. At least now we know how
you became the Wrong Hero.

NEWS OF N.E. MUSIC

Rita: Wow, knowing the story of how the Wrong Hero
came into being is just like knowing the origins of Superman. Only the
Wrong Hero is an actual person. He can’t bend steel in his bare hands,
but he can write a CD review.
Lolita: No, that’s like talking about Clark Kent
as if he were Superman. Get it straight—Francis DiMenno writes the
reviews, the Wrong Hero just does everything wrong.
Lolita: Okay, let’s get on with the news that someone
may understand… While BABALOO takes a break from performances, lead
singer
BRUNO MOLTO is teaching a Women’s Extreme Self-Defense
Class at Spontaneous Celebrations in Jamaica Plain. Classes are every
Thursday at 6:30 pm and are $10 for an hour. ***
NICOLE
TAMMARO
is working on her third
book—this one is called
Boston
Rock
. *** BRETT
MILANO
is doing local radio
show,
The Sound of Our
Town
on WBCN HD on Sundays
3:00-5:00pm. *** High school bands interested in participating in the
High School Band Brawl should complete the submission process at TotalPatriots.com
by May 21. The competition is planned for June 6 (11:00 am) at Gillette
Stadium. ***
BLEU, past resident of Boston and winner of the 2001
Rumble, is now writing songs for
American
Idol
and the Jonas Brothers.
*** CCTV in Central Square is coming up on its 500th show (due to air
in August), but they’ve also are dealing with having to move because
an increase in the rent. ***
WILL
DAILEY
signed the Think Outside
the Bottle pledge. Think Outside the Bottle is a campaign working to promote,
protect, and ensure public funding for our public water systems while
cutting down on plastic toxicity and waste.
Lolita: Here I thought Will was getting on the wagon.

FISH

Rita: While Lolita tries to hitch a ride on Will’s
wagon, I’m going to ask people what kind of fish they like to eat.
Pete, what fish do you prefer on your dinner table?
PETE
WEISS
(the Weisstronauts/ Sool/
Verdant Studio): Brook trout. It’s delicate, flaky, tasty, and sustainable.
Makes for a nice paté, too. ***
MARK
KATES
(Fenway Recordings):
Salmon. It is delectable, whether poached, grilled, smoked, or sushi.
Preferably in Wellfleet or nearby! ***
LIZ
LINDER
(photographer): Shellfish.
Because they are the best fish, obviously.
Lolita: Well, that sounds like a very shellfish thing
to say. I’m sure there are some people who prefer the sad qualities
of bluefish, the holiness of mackerel, or the multi-hugs given by the
octopus. ***
KAREN DeBIASSE (Girl On Top): I like all seafood. See food
and eat it. ***
SHAUN WOLF
WORTIS
(Galo Malo): Monkfish—just
absolutely delicious, and usually wild and locally caught. I have nothing
funny or clever to add to this. All I can say is
monkfish! *** PETE
SUTTON
(the Vivs): Shrimp for
the simple reason that it’s one of those perfect foods God created
that cannot be improved upon, sort of like hot Italian sausage and chocolate
cupcakes… those are also God created, right?
Rita: Yes, I just Googled your question and there
is a reference in the Bible of Jesus breaking one sweet miniature chocolate
cake at a birthday party to feed all the 35 guests. You can always count
on the facts on the information superhighway. ***
BRUCE
ALLEN
(the Doom Buggies): The
only fish I eat are Swedish fish—the original Swedish erotica. Now
they are common, but when I was a kid up in Maine, they were a rare,
sweet, exotic delicacy. I would walk into the corner store where they
sold them individually for a penny and say, “How much for the whole
box?” ***
CHRIS BRAT (the Acro-brats/ By the Throat/ Jason Bennett
& the Resistance/ the Spoilers): I like shrimp wrapped in bacon
because it’s wrapped in bacon. That’s a fish, yeah? ***
VINYL VON RICCI
(Mahi Mahi): My favorite fish to eat is salmon. I used to hate it because
of its fishy flavor, but then I realized that it’s delicious and I
was wrong. I love it as a filet, pan seared with horseradish butter.
***
RAY MASON (Ray Mason Band/ Lonesome Brothers): I’m
currently enjoying all fish as those Omega-3s supposedly help to lower
your triglycerides! ***
DWIGHT
SOAKUM
(Saliva Slingers): Favorite
fish? I like cooking up octopus. As a matter of fact I’m
chopping up suckers right now! (we’re a rap group). ***
BOB GOBRON
(Shakyfoot): My favorite fish to eat is the one striper I take per year
to grill. Since I have a self-imposed one-fish-kept-per-year limit,
I have very strict criteria. The fish must be just over the 29” length
limit and about 15 lbs. I do this because smaller, younger fish have
not had much time to accumulate toxins in their flesh. Also, I don’t
like stripers that have been on bunker—too oily. Once we pulled a
4 lb. lobster out of a 15 lb. striper and man if that fish didn’t
taste just like lobster. Yum.
Lolita: Wow—were you able to eat the lobster too—or
was it already digested too much?
Bob: We thought about it, for sure. It wasn’t
digested at all. Probably wasn’t in the fish’s belly for more than
an hour, but it was already dead (the carapace was cracked a little,
probably when it got swallowed) and it’s never a good idea to eat
a dead lobster. Another time we had a striper on that puked up a pogie
when it got near the boat and we saw the pogie take off like a shot.
Oh, I gots me some fishin’ stories. ***
KEN
FIELD
(Revolutionary Snake
Ensemble/Birdsongs of the Mesozoic/Agachiko/Musaner): Salmon, but what’s
up with the silent “L”?
Rita: I just Googled your question and found that
many years ago the head salmon statesmen got together and decided they
needed to distance themselves from possibly being mistaken for salesmen,
so they agreed to silence the L. I swear by the information highway.
Ken:
Uhh, thanks for clearing that up. ***
CARLENE
BAROUS
(Carlene Barous Band):
I like any fish that tastes like chicken—like Gorton’s Fish Sticks
and Filet o’ Fish. I also enjoy whole fish happy family, which is
best seared in its own juices. Floundering seems to be popular. ***
ALAN COHEN
(…Experience): My favorite seafood to eat is Swedish fish, in a dish
with a knish, watching the commish. So delish! ***
NOLAN SULLIVAN
(ITtheverb): Lobster is easily the best fish to eat any time, anywhere,
any day.
Lolita: I took a tour in Maine one time and they
said that lobster was fed to the slaves all the time—seven days a
week. Slaves finally were able to write it into their contracts that
they would get something other than lobster one day a week.
Rita:
Who knew they had slaves in Maine?
T
Max
: Who knew that the slaves
had contracts?

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Rita: Lolita off on a mental vacation to Maine,
so I’m going to see what I can dig up on relatively new bands that
have emerged. Wow—I’ve got to see this band—NAKED ON ROLLER
SKATES. We can just picture
LEESA
COYNE
, TRAVIS
RICHTER
, RANDY
CREASI
, and KELLY
DAVIDSON
skating around on
stage. *** THE CATBIRDS consist of
STEVE
WOOD
, RIKKI
BATES
, DINTY
CHILD
, and CHANDLER
TRAVIS
. Their Boston-area debut
was on 4/8 at the Lizard Lounge. ***
TONY
SAVARINO
’s new band, TONY
SAVARINO & THE SATANIC LOUNGE SYNDICATE, performs tunes from Tony’s
upcoming solo CD
Guitaring. *** GABRIELLE
AGACHIO
(Buck Moon) has a project
called AGACHIKO that plays music by and inspired by Nina Simone. ***
TONY GODDESS
(Jenny Dee & the Deelinquents) and his wife
SAMMANTHA
GODDESS
are part of THE
LINDSAY BUCKINGHAM ADMAIRATION SOCIETY and will perform Tusk in its
entirety at the Lizard Lounge on Friday, 5/15. *** BLACK
THAI includes
JIM HEALEY (We’re All Gonna Die), SCOTT
O’DOWD
(Cortez), COREY COCOMAZZI
(Voda), and one of our favorite Boston drummers
JEREMY
HEMMOND
(Cortez). *** THE JEREMIAH
WEED FOUNDATION is a new combo with
JOEY
PESCE
, KEN
SCHOPF
, and SHAWN
WOLF WORTIS
. Lolita: These guys look like that should be in a
band together.

MAY 15
– ARMED FORCES DAY

Rita: I have to admit I never heard of this holiday,
but it’s labeled on my calendar—May 15 is Armed Forces Day. How
will you be celebrating this holiday?
KIER
BYRNES
(Three Day Threshold):
We’re sending a bunch of free copies of our new CD,
Straight
Out of the Barrel
to some of
the servicemen and women we met last year when Three Day Threshold did
a military tour for the U.S. troops stationed overseas. ***
MARK BRYANT
(Plimro Records): I’ll be putting on my Green Shirt with the Big Boys
and providing Senior Service for Oliver’s Army. We’ll start by searching
for two Little Hitlers who were last seen tormenting a Party Girl in a
so-called “Chemistry Class.” After that I’ll be joining the Goon
Squad to determine the new Moods For Moderns. But you never know, Accidents
Will Happen and at the end of it all I’ll probably just ask, What’s
So Funny ’bout Peace Love and Understanding? ***
PETER
C. JOHNSON
(Peter C. Johnson):
I’ll be at the veterans’ hospital continuing my work as an intern
on the addictions unit. I’m seeing a lot of young men and women coming
back with opiate addictions and PTSD. It’s heartbreaking. I skipped
out on my generation’s war, so it feels good being part of the recovery
process in this one. ***
SLIMEDOG (the Noise): I will be enjoying Armed Forces Day in the
same way as I believe many of you will be celebrating this holiday.
I will be dressing up my three pet cockatoos in different military regalia—one
in the army, navy, etc. Then I dress up much like General Patton
and we reenact the Battle of Iwo Jima. It’s quite smashing though
a bit bloody at times. ***
JEFF
BREEZE
(CBOP): I always forget
to do anything special for this day. I do usually remember to listen
to the whole album for
My
Aim Is True
day. I like that
one far better. ***
CARL
BIANCUCCI
(the Fighting Cocks):
I will re-enlist in the Kiss army. ***
EDRIE (Walter Sickert & the Army of Broken Toys):
I will celebrate Armed Forces Day as I celebrate every Armed Forces
Day, by donning my red, white, and blue nipple tassels, straw cowboy
hat, and red leather boots and going to the top of Bunker Hill to sing
the entirety of the “The Salute to the Armed Forces” whilst twirling
those tassles in the concentric circles—really no better way to support
our troops. ***
CHUCK U.
ROSINA
(WMBR/ WMFO): Armed
Forces Day??? We already have Memorial Day, and Veterans Day (which
used to be Armistice Day—commemorating peace, not war). Enough already.
I guess I’ll spend part of the day listening to the music of Sgt.
Maxwell’s Peace Chorus.
Lolita: What a great segue to plug Sgt. Maxwell’s,
I mean
T MAX’s, upcoming CD, Why
Do We Go to War?
T sings and
plays everything except the jet engine guitar by
MIKE
LOCE
(the Doublenecks) on the
title track. The CD is already getting airplay—thanks to Chuck U.

ALL GOIN’
OUT TOGETHER

Lolita: Come and join me at these cool events: RICK PAIGE
presents the Allston Johnny D’s reunion on Saturday, 5/1, at Church
featuring THE TURBINES. *** The finals of the Rock Showdown on Sunday 5/2 (12:30 pm) at the Center for the Arts in Natick will include AWESOME EXPRESS (from Wellesley, Needham, and Newton), THE JESSICA PROUTY BAND (from Marblehead), THE DEADLY STYLES (from Sudsbury) and BLINDFOLD ASIDE (from Boston). *** JORDAN VALENTINE & THE SUNDAY SAINTS
are at T.T. the Bear’s on Wednesday, 5/5. *** SLIP KID (featuring
GARY
and MARCUS CHERONE) play their Who tribute at the Hard
Rock Café on Friday, 5/7. ***
BIG
CATHOLIC GUILT
(1992 Rumble
champs) was known for their big sound and fabulous light show. They’re
back to play on Saturday, 5/8, at the Middle East Downstairs. *** Same
night INCUS spreads the good vibes at the Cantab. *** Our favorite master
of the beat-box keyboard,
B.J.
SNOWDEN
,
plays Zuzu on Monday,
5/10. *** On Wednesday, 5/12, Mass Art Invades the Armory—many different genres of music mix with many different mediums of art. It's an all-ages show at 7:00 at the Somerville Armory. *** Come to
CARMELITA’s Roast at the Magic Room on Friday, 5/14.
ASA BREBNER & FRIENDS and
T
MAX
perform. It’s a benefit
for the animal rescue league Help Save One. *** On Saturday, 5/15, PORT
CHARLES QUINTET headline at the Cantab. *** JASON BENNET & THE RESISTANCE
are at Great Scott on Monday, 5/17. *** THREE DAY THRESHOLD slam the
Middle East upstairs on Friday, 5/21. *** Lastly, on Saturday, 5/29,
TOM WAITSIAN headlines at Precinct.
Lolita: After going to all those shows I’m going
to admit myself into the hospital so I can get a sponge bath from nurse
Robert.
Rita: You do know that nurse Robert is none other
than
ROBBIE ROADSTEAMER pretending to be a nurse! Ha! See you next
month!



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