5/10/15/20 May 2009

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By T Max and Joe Coughlin

20 YEARS AGO
May 1989 – Issue #84

Cover: The Cavedogs,
the Bristols, Angela (WFNX)
Bands: Treat
Her Right, the Zulus, the Pixies, the Norberts, Voodoo Dolls, Funeral
Party
Gossip & Stuff:
Oooh, one of my favorite cover photos with the Cavedogs climbing right
through the cover! *** If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers
bring?
Allergies
and pesticides?

No… the Pilgrims. *** Cxema’s bassist, Andy Karlok, gets a part
in the movie Jackknife with Robert DeNiro. *** Green Fuse is
giving out green condoms with their green vinyl 7 inch.
Damn, I shoulda used one,
then maybe my dick wouldn’t be green right now.

*** On the Town with Mikey Dee on WMFO is born. *** Ed Moose Savage’s
Siamese Triplets is also born.
I’m
currently dating Siamese twins. She’s good people, man! I’m also
seeing a Filipino contortionist. She’s a Manila folder. Thank you,
good night
!
*** Vegetarian Platter (a band whose name was taken from the Middle
East menu) wants to change their name so they have audience members
write suggestions on a blackboard while the band plays. Francis DiMenno
comes up with the name they chose: Lincoln’s Dick.
This
band gave out free condoms too, but they already came with honorary
warts. The all-star Stinkin’ Lincolns have since tried to pick up
the, uh, slack. They’ve gone from venerable to venereal in just a
few gigs’ time.

*** A new band is formed called Fertile Virgin: five underage girls,
and every guy in town is out to change their name.
Unfortunately,
it worked, and the band broke up when clubs refused to book them under
their new name, Barren Slut.

15 YEARS AGO
May/June 1994 – Issue
#139

Cover: El Dopa,
Bongo Fury
Bands: Sinkhole,
Orangutang, Gravel Pit, Pooka Stew, Mick Mondo, Malachite, Rattle Heatre,
Lyres, Butterscott, Naked Lunchbox, Nine Lives
Gossip & Stuff:
Times must have been tough. This issue doesn’t have one full-page
ad. Not even the back page. *** Rita and Lolita ask, what was your last
non-musical project? Willie Alexander visited Graceland; Ad Frank dug
the foundation for a garage that didn’t get built; Mick Mondo did
a biochemistry project; Brett Milano got shitfaced on Bourbon Street;
Franx from the Middle East took an accordion lesson when he was
10 (I’d have to agree
about accordions being non-musical. He should have mentioned his infamous
video experiment, but ’nuff said there)
;
Chris Blue was the president of DALO: Drunks Against Lawn Ornaments.
*** Slapshot records a live album in Germany. *** Boston Rock Opera
takes on its first original piece, Crackpot Notion by Tim Robert.
*** Voodoo Dolls and Tribe break up.
Voodoo
Dolls reformed and have played recently.
***
Sean Patrick Murphy (WMFO) dies on April 22 1994. *** Chris Korda of
the Church of Euthanasia releases a single of “Save the Planet, Kill
Yourself” that becomes a big hit in Europe. The Noise
says it’s “nothing short of genius.”
Don’t
know the song, but can’t argue with the advice.

10 YEARS AGO
May 1999 – Issue #191

Cover: The Gravel
Pit, Caged Heat, Darkbuster, Peter DuCharme
Bands: Quintaine
Americana, Ray Corvair Trio, Rock City Crime Wave, Black Helicopter,
Johnny Black Trio, the Freeze, Calendar Girl, the Fly Seville, Outlets,
Ramona Silver, the Dubnicks, Barry & the Remains, Zola Turn, Tiltmaster
Gossip & Stuff:
Rita and Lolita go to the zoo to pick up on performance ideas.
I’ll only say that they
learned well, but it was not for public viewing.
*** Lolita says
that sex with animals is safer than sex with humans
. And more affordable,
too.

*** The Syphlloids’ advertisements are scaring away other Noise advertisers,
and a few politically correct retailers as well.

*** John Dragonetti (Jack Drag) hooks up with Peter DuCharme (Master
Cylinder) and forms the Junior Communist Club. *** The Elevator Drops
spread themselves out to both sides of the country while Dave Goolkasian
plans to marry Lisa Suckdog. *** Reverse forms,
thank
God.
*** After 10 albums, Butterscott
breaks up. Some remaining members form a new band and call it
(drum roll) Butterscott. *** Joe Coughlin is listed
as a member of the Self-Righteous Brothers.
A
fictional name at the time, which I nicked from someone and credited
as the outro track for the Midway compilation disc. It’s 30 seconds
of drunken banter from the bar. Now, there IS a local band with that
name. I hope no one thinks it’s them!

*** Writer Lianna Ness leaves the Noise. I’d just seen her
at Kenne Highland’s birthday party and she said she may start writing
for the Noise again.
We’re
still waiting!

*** Peet Glowaki (now Peet Golan of Waltham and Kranksquad) designs
a new website for the Noise. Peet’s the one that started the original
Noise
message board!
He
might just go to Hell for this. I’m kidding, Peet!

5 YEARS AGO
May 2004 – Issue #241

Cover: Shred,
the Arrangement, Chris Jackson, Meat Depressed
Bands: Count
Zero, Muck & the Mires, Brett Rosenberg, the Marvels, Lovewhip,
Spookie Daly Pride, Neptune, Lady of Spain, Chris Brokaw, Din, Cancer
to the Stars, Night Rally, Helicopter Helicopter, the Bon Savants, Ad
Frank & the Fast Easy Women, Antler, the Lincoln Conspiracy, Valhalla
Kittens, My Own Worst Enemy, the Humanoids, the Numbskulls, Hothead,
Thrills,
whose
recordings from 1977-1981 are released
on Dionysus Records.
R.I.P. singer Barb Kitson.

Gossip & Stuff: Blake Hazard
heads out to L.A. and the Noise sends her off as the centerfold.
A beautiful photo of a beautiful gal by Liz Linder (
who
ain’t exactly chopped liver herself

). *** Baby Ray records in a secluded cabin in upstate New York with
P. Diddy’s producer, Paul Logus. *** Thundertrain has their own feature-length
rock ’n’ roll documentary, Thundertrain: Inbetween Now &
Then
. Singer Mach Bell also tells an interesting story about being
at a party, vomiting in the bushes, sleeping in the vomit, then getting
peed on.
What,
like this is unusual for musicians
?
*** Laura Slapikoff produces a web-wave radio show called Lslapiko Radio.
*** Allen Bush gives up Stratosphere Communication, his own promotions
company, to become the Director of Communications at Berklee College
of Music. *** *** Jeff Connolly (Lyres) breaks down the difference between
the Brita and PUR home water filtering systems. *** The Konks win Little
Steven’s Underground Battle of the Bands. *** The Pills break up when
Dave Thompson heads for Seattle.
The
remaining members try to call themselves Butterscott, and a bitter legal
battle ensues
.

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