5/10/15/20: May 2008

by T Max and Joe Coughlin

Issue #73 May 1988

Cover: Dredd Foole & the Din (which began as essentially Mission of Burma backing singer Dan Ireton), the Blake Babies (featuring Juliana Hatfield), Lois McGee
Bands: Salem 66, Nova Mob, Anastasia Screamed, J. Gag’s Big Black Book, Busted Statues (That’s drummer Michael Mooney standing with Clint Conley on the cover of Burma’s The Horrible Truth About Burma live LP. Busted Statues also featured Diane Bergamsaco, later of Mindgrinder, and alleged subject of The Bags’ “Lovesick Diane.” The Statues’ wonderful song “Red Clouds” is on a rare/ valuable single, but can also be heard on Myspace.com), the Swinging Erudites (the best parody [etc.] act ever out of Boston. With ex-Thrills/ City Thrills/ Blackjacks guitarist/ vocalist Johnny Angel, they could eviscerate Emerson, Lake & Palmer (“Yuppie Man”), Bon Jovi (“Livin’ On My Hair”), and The Bangles (“Walk With An Erection”) with equal aplomb, and even won “Outstanding Single” at the Boston Music Awards in ’88. The Bangles are said to have loved the band’s take on them, and allegedly requested four copies of the record in question.
Other Stuff: The gossip column starts with a big photo of Dick Tate (then the Slaves, now Middle East Downstairs manager and the Prime Movers) And still occasionally the Slaves, I believe. Nah, I think it’s just still the Prime Movers, though the band overlaps members. *** Lolita proves that even if you don’t ask a sexual Question of the Month, you’ll still get sexual answers. She asks, If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be, and why? Sample of answers: “Between Peggy Lipton’s legs on the first episode of Mod Squad,” “Gilligan’s Island for Ginger,” “Rio, because the bare breasted Spanish women are in abundance.” What, no one mentioned the line out the door at your place, T? I dunno why the gals are always so shy to admit this stuff. *** Rita and Lolita boast about putting out 73 issues of the Noise. *** Izzy’s mom (my ex) gets her picture and a review of her CD in this issue. Francis DiMenno gives her a good review but admits he was afraid of getting a dose of 6-year-old Izzy’s karate kicks. *** James Ryan ends his Fryin’ w/ Ryan column with, “Laughter comes from those who have not yet heard the bad news.” Also a member of The Swinging Erudites, so perhaps he would know better. *** Charles White (booker of Green Street Station) writes a harsh criticism of a TV show special, Where Have All The Good Times Gone, which claims that the Boston music scene is dead. Last I heard, Chuck’s in Florida and playing out again. His exploits with former Green Street Station owner Doug Mellen, even for years afterward, are legendary. *** A double page spread comic has the Beeheads putting off rehearsals and wondering why they don’t sound tight. I think it’s my translation that kills the humor. Okay, I gotta ask, what were they translated from? The Beeheads comic strip. That’s the subject of the strip.

Issue #128 May 1993
Cover: The Dambuilders, Big Catholic Guilt (not Large Jewish Gelt—there really was a band called Large Jewish Gelt. They played at a Noise show.
Bands: Cxema (featuring Andy “Big Money Buck” Karlock on bass, and later bassist/ theremin player for the Electric Logs), Satanics (a/k/a/ Titanics for all intents, etc.), Naked Lunch Box, Letters To Cleo, Tulips, Atlas Shrugged, Red Tomato, Fuzzy, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Doc Hopper, Eric Martin & The Illyrians, The Scuds
Other Stuff: Our new writer, Tomoko K, master of broken English, reviews Jesus Christ Superstar and can’t figure out if Ad Frank in the role of Peter is a man or a woman. *** The Del Fuegos and Treat Her Right break up. *** The McAuley family has members in The Trojan Ponies, Cxema, and Magdelene—and none of them are Bleu. *** The T installs a bunch of TVs but the audio is shut off when street musicians complain of it interfering with their income. Someone should have told them 5% of shit is still shit. *** The Boston Pepsi Music Awards get a review—yes that’s the same as the Kahlua Music Awards—which of course is also Nemo. *** Ahh—there’s an ad for the Patty Show—probably the worst show that I ever produced—it was a live TV show that wasn’t really on TV. Ask Pat McGrath (Looney Tunes) about it. *** The Rock School band’s excuse for the size of their audience—“The beer is too cheap for our upscale crowd!”

May 1998 Issue #181
Cover: Splashdown, Trona, Big Ray & The Futuras, the Nines, the Vic Morrows
Bands: The Shods, Elevator Drops, Morphine, the Racketeers, Ghost of Tony Gold (awesome cover of The Monkees’ “Porpoise Song”), Slughog, Roadsaw, All the Queen’s Men, Betwixt, Quintaine Americana, the Syphlloids, My Favorite Relative, Max, Helicopter Helicopter—Having to follow them during a Rumble set, Lenny from Darkbuster announced his band saying, “We’re Darkbuster Darkbuster.” Maybe ya hadda be there. I was there. Don’t remember it. But I do remember Lenny’s brother bringing the Rumble finals to an abrupt early ending with a poorly executed stage dive that appeared to leave him with a broken neck.
Other Stuff: My old band Max runs a full-page ad that threatens to pummel their Rumble opponents with love. Fortunately, future cover girl (in exactly five years) Julie Chadwick’s band American Measles (her band before Helicopter Helicopter) pummels Max with superior rock. *** Not too many Boston bands have their own tribute bands—but Two Doors Down plays all Boy’s Life songs. *** Interesting—the price of the oldest available issue of the Noise is $30 (it’s now $50). *** Brett Milano replaces Mikey Dee on drums in Butterscott. *** Ted Widmen, speechwriter for President Clinton, leaves The Upper Crust. In the band, he is known as Lord Rockingham. *** The Rock School band is on the road in their van, and to pass the time they ask the question, if you had to chop off your pinky with a butter knife… or never have sex again… what would you do? Extremely tough call, as I use my pinkies about as much as I have sex these days. But Joe, you should know that gals speak highly of your pinky.

May 2003 Issue #231
Cover: Helicopter Helicopter, Walth-am, Cash Monies & the Jetsetter, Rock City Crimewave, The Konks
Bands: Quintaine Americana, Cave In, December Sound, Ad Frank, the Brett Rosenberg Problem, Mappari, Robin Lane & the Chartbusters, Kate Taylor, Thinner, Tristan da Cunha, the Prime Movers, the Dents, Gang Green, Cracktorch, the Peasants, Dave Aaronoff, Reverse, Lenny & the Piss Poor Boys (recently reunited, hopefully not just a one-off), We’re All Gonna Die, Abunai!
Other Stuff: This is the issue with a photo of pen pals Joe Coughlin and Bob Dubrow running in the marathon hand in hand. And I’m not gonna reveal who “passed the baton” to whom. But it does look like you’re holding the baton with that pinky. *** A guy from South Weymouth writes in a gushing letter to the Flange sisters. I’m sure that their response got the guy off. *** The Rock School band has a gig with a veteran band that they make fun of for being so old. The strip ends with a very young band making the same fun of our comic strip heroes. *** Stephen Prygoda (now of My Own Worst Enemy) writes a book review on Sonic Cool—written by Joe Harrington—but he’s not our future photographer of the same name. *** I love it when bands advertise their bad reviews. Nothing Yet’s ad is headed with “virtually unlistenable”~Joel Simches, the Noise, April 2003. Well, at least they didn’t misquote him entirely, like many bands have done in their ads. Believe me, I know. *** Look at the businesses that advertised that aren’t around anymore: Punk Rock Aerobics, Rock City Guitars, Planet Aid, Fly Rabbit, the Linwood, CD Spins, Hi-Fi Records, Tape Complex, and Stratosphere Communications. Meanwhile, that line out the door at Noise Headquarters continues to this day. You really should consider charging. You could hang a sign outside that says, “TMax—at your cervix!” What Joe isn’t telling you is that line stays so long because he frequently pinkies his favorites to keep them satisfied while they wait.

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