Rita: Welcome to my favorite issue of the year—the dark Halloween issue. This issue is so dark it will leave black on your hands. Lolita: The black organic soy ink is delicious and serves well with blood. I’ve made a habit of dicing up a Halloween issue and sprinkling it on my black rice. And this issue is especially delicious since I managed to bring back some of Paris for the cover. Those skulls and bones are from the catacombs that are deep under the streets of Paris. Rita: Yes, Lolita, you needn’t remind us again that you went to Paris. Let’s get back to what’s delicious about this issue—find out what people like to eat. Please get out of the sewer and ask everyone about their favorite thing to eat. {mospagebreak title=FAVORITE FOOD}


Lolita: Okay, but it would be nice if you helped me out of this sewer—I thought there might be some bones buried under Dorchester. I know, you don’t want to hear about it—just ask, what is your favorite thing to eat? Since I can’t get out, could you please send people down here to give me their answers—it’s getting dark down here—do you have a flashlight? Oh, thank you—oh, it’s you Linda—tell me—what are you doing down here? No, forget that, what is your favorite thing to eat? LINDA VIENS (Angeline/ Cosmic-Trigger): My favorite thing to eat is warm, dripping, seared, juicy hunks of roasted meat… of any kind! Grrrrrrrrrr. *** MR. CURT (Mr. Curt Ensemble): LOBSTAAAH, which made the recent scarcity so hard to take, coupled with that ridiculous rise in cost. But in the past month, we’ve dined at a more respectable rate at least five times. Maximum-yum! *** MAX HEINEGG (Max Heinegg): My favorite thing to eat is a dumpling, so I’ll say dim sum, especially at China Pearl in Chinatown. It’s kinda cheating, like saying tapas is your favorite, but dim sum rules for dumplings: shrimp, pork, lobster; it’s also short money and kids love it because it’s loud, bright, and the servings can usually be eaten in a few bites. I usually go before 11:00 to avoid the big crowds and occasionally can snake free parking at that time. *** WALTER SICKERT (… & the Army of Broken Toys): There’s only one thing I need this time of year—one perfect food, one thing that makes everything okay, one thing that’s on my mind and yours—BRAINS! *** FRANK ROWE (Classic Ruins): My favorite thing to eat (with the intention of digestion) is the number five special at the El Phoenix, with the two cheese and onion enchiladas, a bean burrito, refried beans and that funky yellow and brown rice, plus a Rolling Rock, nachos and salsa, all for $6.00. I realize I need a time machine to get it, but I can make a pretty close approximation myself. *** NICOLE TAMMARO (Nicole Tammaro Photography): My favorite thing to eat is my home tomato sauce. *** MICHAEL BLOOM (Tim Mungenast & his Pre-Existing Conditions): That’s easy—ice cream (although I might not give the same answer to a non-family magazine). Lolita: So, you think we’re a family magazine? If I didn’t know you were ill with your pre-existing condition I’d come over there and show you how I play bingo with whips, pins, and clamps. *** MIKE HIBARGER (Desolation Bells): Favorite thing to eat? That’s such a difficult question, one cannot dine on morels and toro (tuna belly) everyday… and Quisp cereal is hard to find in the grocery store these days.


*** GENE JOHNSTON (Splint): I love to eat spaghetti and meatballs from Tutto Italiano. It’s a family run Italian specialty shop so all their sauces and meatballs are homemade and they import their pasta. A glass of red, some stuffed cherry peppers and spaghetti and meatballs. Mmmm… *** FATHER ABRAHAM (The Indefinite Article): M&Ms and those little stick pretzels. Not the rods; don’t be ignorant. The little sticks. Not the little pretzel-shaped mini-pretzels, either. Christ. Has to be the little sticks. One stick for each M&M, or two for two, or three for three. Four for four would be kind of ridiculous, but you’re welcome to go ahead and try. Just don’t do it at like an important business meeting or something. That wouldn’t be professional. *** DUNCAN WILDER JOHNSON (Destruct-a-thon/ Thrashachusetts Records): Pussy. Lolita: Oh my God! I’m going to have to save all those poor cats in Duncan’s neighborhood. And then I’ll stop by to tease Duncan with my most sought after feline. *** DANIEL BON (…& The Future Ghosts): Taka-Su… baby octopus seasoned with vinegar. *** TERRI CHRISTOPHER (27/ Angels of Meth): Celentano vegan eggplant rollettes: tofu, broccoli, and spinach tightly rolled in breaded slices of eggplant in a zesty tomato sauce. I then de-veganize them by putting a ton of grated Pecorino Romano cheese on them. Delicious. *** A.J. WACHTEL (Boston Now): My favorite thing to eat is either a pepperoni pizza at Santarpio’s or else a hot dog at Simco’s on the hill in Mattapan. I am usually the only white person at Simco’s but no one has EVER bothered me because they know I am either a musician or a crazy dangerous ex-con capable of inflicting much damage between bites. When I am there I can usually feel this excitement in the air (because all the people are staring at me in disbelief) and it is often more satisfying to me than walking off stage after a red hot set. *** ERIC WAXWOOD (Auto Interiors): Being a diabetic, of course it has to be chocolate. That’s why insulin is my best friend ever. *** ANDY HALL (STATE YOUR MIND): I enjoy Anna’s Taqueria’s Super Quesadillas (chicken, cheese, lettuce, salsa, hot peppers, hot sauce)—they’re unreal. *** BRIAN MICHAEL ROFF (The Underpainting): This question sounds like a set-up to me… but I am going to answer in an extremely nerdy way. My favorite thing to eat, especially at this time of year, is anything and everything LOCAL. This farmers’ market season I’ve been obsessed with heirloom tomatoes—the uglier and lumpier the better. Lolita: Then Brian Michael, if you ever have to choose between Rita and me—you’d prefer Rita. {mospagebreak title=ROCK NEWS AND EVENTS}


Rita: You know Brian Michael would never pick you because he gags whenever he breathes in that French perfume—Scent de Sewer. And yes, the timing of our deadline stinks too; we don’t know exactly what’s going on with the Red Sox and the playoffs. So, we’re offering up our version of the Fenway wave with a photo of Noise Board slugger EMSTERLY who’s actually better known for her sweater puppies than her cut at the plate. *** The Noise was honored to be the recipient of the Best Local Magazine award at the MassCann/NORML award ceremony—a new event that was held (the night before the Freedom Fest) at the Bulfinch Yatch Club. *** SHRED (x-’BCN) picked up a DJ job in Glens Falls, New York, at WKBE. No more WBCN. What does this mean for the future of Boston Emissions and The Rumble? *** Gibson.com is currently using CATHERINE CARTER’s photos in rotation on their home page. *** SHILO McDONALD has joined the hosting team for WMFO’s On the Town with Mikey Dee (Wednesdays 9pm-midnight). This local show is still looking for a good engineer to help out. Contact anngellewood@yahoo.com if you can do the job.*** Beginning on October 26, the ULTRASONIC ROCK ORCHESTRA brings its production of A Night At The Rock Opera to the theater district, and will perform a run of ten shows at The Wilbur Theater. *** ED “MOOSE” SAVAGE’s Uncle Hank Shulman did the camera work and cinematography on the first American surrealist/ experiment film, Dreams The Money Can Buy (1947). Ed showed it in Pawtucket and we hope he’ll bring it to Boston. *** THREE DAY THRESHOLD’s “I Must Admit” is being played in the soundtrack of MTV’s newest show, Real World Sydney. *** HOORAY FOR EARTH headlined Obamapalooza, a rally and concert in New York City for Democratic hopeful BARACK OBAMA. Lolita: I think they should have called the event Obamapawinner. It’s a name with a more positive attitude. *** October 5-7 marks the return of Honk! in Davis Square, Somerville with 20 honk bands (street bands with horns) from all over the world (a handful of them represent the New England states). The Honk parade is on Sunday and is led by CLICK & CLACK from WBUR’s Car Talk. This event is multi-faceited event—so go to honkfest.org to get the lowdown. *** THE BOSTON BABYDOLLS own VITA LIGHTLY (a.k.a. Sarah) is one of the 13 contestants competing on the new season of America’s Next Top Model. *** MATT FARLEY (Moe’s Haven) stars in a low budget horror movie, Freaky Farley, that shows at Coolidge Corner on Monday, 10/8, at 8:30. *** MARK SCHLEICHER (Quintaine Americana) is bound for New Jersey so it’s time to go to Church (the place to drink, not the place to pray—hint: it’s where the Linwood use to be) on Saturday, 10/20, for Schleicherfest. ROADSAW, MESS WITH THE BULL, THROTTLEROD, THE HUMANOIDS, CORTEZ, ROCK CITY CRIMEWAVE, and many more are scheduled for the going away party. *** The 4th annual Mass. Morgue combines dark electronic music, Gothic bellydancing, physical comedy, and a macabre on-campus tale at the Cantab on Sunday, 10/28. *** CBS selected THE VITAL MIGHT’s “Don’t Mind Me” to air on its Emmy award-winning daytime drama The Young and the Restless. “Don’t Mind Me,” off the band’s debut album Obsidian features Morphine’s DANACOLLEY on saxophone. *** WACKASS EGYPTIANS have updated “When I Say Patriots” with new lyrics, and special guests GARY TANGUAY, SCOTT ZOLACK, and ANDY GRESH (The WBCN Pats pre/post game show hosts) on backup vocals. *** ALVAN LONG (New Alliance) has his artwork hanging in The Sherman Café (257 Washington St., Union Square, Somerville) ’til 10/31. *** Being a New England based ’zine we cover all bands and artist who are based in this area, or made their name here. That is why we’ll go beyond the local starving musicians to include JAMES TAYLOR’s plead to the Navy to stop using high decibel mid-range frequency sonar that kills whales. He’s only asking the Navy to develop safety measures when training without compromising military readiness. Go to nrdcactionfund.org for more details. Lolita: You better be careful in the clubs—some high decibel bands use a lot of mid range—and, Rita, you may be the next whale to go belly up. {mospagebreak title=MEMORABLE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES}


Rita: What’s got you so full of venom? The funny thing is that I’m getting a whale costume together for Halloween. You could go as a sewer rat and you wouldn’t need a costume. Now how ’bout you get asking our friends what Halloween costumes have etched their way into their memories. Lolita: Okay, line ’em up and tell me about your favorite Halloween costumes. CASEY DESMOND (Casey Desmond): I was Captain Planet in high school; I had a green mullet and blue skin and wore the red super hero undies on top of my blue body. The Power is YOURS! *** CHUCK U. (WMFO): I have two most memorable costumes. In 1995, the year of the 50th Anniversary of the Atomic Bomb droppings on Japan, I dressed in Japanesse sandals, an authentic kimono, and a grotesque face mask with an eye falling out its socket. I said I was a Habaksha—survivor the atomic bomb. It made people cringe. More recently, I let my feminine side show, and dressed as a female pumpkin. That is I wore psychedelic leotards under an orange mini-skirt, a bright orange pumpkin shirt, and a headband with two springy pumpkin Martian antennas. Not scary like the previous, but rather amusing. *** MICHAEL EPSTEIN (The Motion Sick/ Okay Thursday): I wore a yellow shirt and green pants and pinned a tissue to my head. I was snot on a tissue. It’s both a condition and a costume. *** MONIQUE ORTIZ (A.K.A.C.O.D.): I think it was back in ’98, Bourbon Princess played the Halloween show, upstairs at the Middle East. I went “tarred & feathered,” wearing nothing but black liquid latex with feathers pressed into it. Needless to say, it was a hit, but by the end of the night I had to borrow a trenchcoat because all the boys were peeling it off throughout the night… much to my extreme pleasure! I’ve since developed an allergy to latex. I knew there’d be a price to pay. *** TIM EMSWILER (The Noise): I was a girl for Halloween once when I was a kid, but that was traumatic for me, so instead I’ll talk about the time when I dressed up as a decomposing corpse. I truly looked disgusting, and as I walked through the streets of Allston on my way to a party, I reveled in the looks I was getting. I stopped at Store 24 to buy smokes, and had to remove the fake rotting teeth to make myself understood. The guy behind the counter was freaking out. He practically threw the cigarettes at me and said, “Here! You take these and go! NOW!” *** DICK TATE (The Prime Movers/ the Middle East):After serving in The Strangemen for five years, only wearing a costume on Halloween seem pretty tame. Try walking into a bikers bar with a two-foot high blonde wig and a silver suit on in the middle of August if you want scary. *** DANA COLLEY (Twinemen/ A.K.A.C.O.D.): The one Halloween costume that has remained purely conceptual is this: dressing up as a Taliban member with my soprano sax and going as Kenny Jihad. *** MIKE MacDONALD (…& the Widow Makers): A few years back I went as Lt. Dangle from Reno 911—short shorts and all. It was a hit with the ladies. *** PETER CHOYCE (KXLU.com): Instead of dressing up in elaborate, expensive costumes, I went the other way and won the contest when I was at Emerson. I put on a 99-cent witch’s mask from Store 24 and the rest of me wore NOTHING. You know me. The prize was about 100 dollars, too. The rich bitches at Emerson who spent so much on their walking condom costume were SO pissed at me and said the contest was unfair. Ha! *** SUSAN SCOTTI (Last Call Agency): I was dressed as Monica Lewinsky the year the story broke. I had on a blue dress with a “stain” on the front and wore a beret. I also handed out cigars. I won some sort of prize for the costume but I don’t remember what it was. *** SCOTT HARRISON (Burnt Fur): One year I attached extra arms to a shirt under the actual arms. Then I filled them with stuffing and fastened them with gloves to wrap around my waist. Then I painted my face blue and was “choking” for Halloween. *** STEPHIE PEEKA (… & The SeeKing 7): When I was a wee lass my brother made a dead on costume for me of Boba Fett (Star Wars) out of a motorcycle helmet complete with jet pack on my back. Lucas then gave him a job in the special effects department of ILM. Or should have. *** STIX SIGMA (The Hammond Group/ The Allstonians): My favorite Halloween costume was improvised at the last minute and borne of desperation—Drunk the Clown! A full Afro wig, clown make-up, pseudo-clown clothing, and several 40s of Haffenreffer were the answer to the annual question “what am I going to do about a costume?” *** NICHOLE CLARKE (Orange Nichole): One Halloween I attended a big party dressed as Clara Rockmore, theremin virtuoso. This may sound a little obscure now, but it was right after the movie Theremin: An Electronic Odyssey had come out and many of my friends had seen it. I arrived at the party and found to my surprise that my friend Mel was also dressed as Clara! Likely the only party ever with two Clara Rockmores. *** SAMMY MIAMI (Shööt The Möön): As a kid, I usually went as a member of Kiss. My mom’s mirror belt was the centerpiece for every costume. Now I wear it on stage! However, the most memorable costume I ever wore was after the second divorce when we moved into a bachelor pad on Halloween night. Upset that I was going to miss trick or treating without a costume, one of the roommates let me borrow his party costume. I remember it well because all the neighbors were appalled to see an eight-year-old kid dressed as a four-foot tall Miller Lite! Lolita: Sammy, it’s good to get started early, so you can learn how to deal with hangovers. {mospagebreak title=MUSICAL CHAIRS}


Rita: Speaking of drunk, I bet every one of the people mentioned in our Musical Chairs section has experienced that special time when their alcohol level rose to the point of forcing them to bow to the porcelain god. MATT HUTTON and PAT MacDONALD (The Red Telephone) have put together BIRDWATCHERS OF AMERICA with ADAM GOODWIN (Permafrost) on drums, and the wizard pedal steel player BOB NEW. *** Hey, there are some new associate editors at The Noise—welcome long-time writers NANCY NEON, TIM EMSWILER and KEVIN FINN. *** 27 has decided to add a new member each month so they get mentioned in this column on a regular basis. This month’s new member is GREG MOSS (x-Common Cold/ Polaris Mine) on bass. *** EDDIE JAPAN consists of DAVID SANTOS (Mercury Quartet), CHRIS BARRETT (Logan 5 & the Runners/ Tiger Saw), JIM COLLINS (Buckners/ Brett Rosenberg Problem), BART LoPICCOLO (Scatterfield/ The Din), JASON BALDOCK (Hit Squad), and GEORGE HALL (Weisstronauts/ Seks Bomba). *** SCOTT LERNER (x-Pure Fiction) and MATT BELYEA (x-Happy the Clown) are part of a new band called THE CRUSHING LOW. And they’re opening for the return of SCARCE. Lolita: That’s right, one of the most exciting bands to come out of Providence is back—at T.T.’s on Saturday, 10/6. *** KOSEI FUKUYAMA has filled the open seat at the drums for TOKYO TRAMPS. *** BIPOLARCOASTER features CRAIG ADAMS and GINO ZANETTI, both x-Dents, but this band is metal. *** THE SPRAINED ANKLES are DREW PILARSKI and MIKE PATTERSON (x-Wrong Side of the Tracks), HENRY RYAN (The Skels), RYAN LOGSDON (Elena James Band), and PADDY KEYS (The Larkin Brigade). *** BLEU, MIKE VIOLA, and DUCKY CARLISLE have formed a new (super) group called THE MAJOR LABELS. Rita: Will the major labels be going after The Major Labels? Or visa versa? Lolita: Do you mean like the top shelf labels at a bar? {mospagebreak title=TOP SHELF TALES}


Rita: Yes, Lolita, that’s exactly what I meant—will those fine musicians drown themselves in the best whiskey in town. Now be a good sewer rat and ask our friends to describe someone they saw who was very drunk. Lolita: Stagger into place and spit out a drunken tale… SEAN MURRAY (Jake & the Jakes): I was staying over a friend’s house after a long night of drinking, my brother and his friend stayed over as well. My brother, who is not known for getting sick, got sick in the bathroom during the early morning and left it since everyone was asleep. My brother’s friend, who is known for getting sick, figured he did it and though he couldn’t remember doing it. He cleaned it up. My brother and I were in hysterics and still are. *** NICK BLAKEY (The In Out/ Church): Someone redecorated their bathroom organically, shall we say, via horizontal frontal blasting. This was followed by a slip on the bedroom rug and an upended full body crash (ever seen 235 lbs do that?) Moral of the story: NEVER follow a Rochefort 10 with an Avery Maharaja and finish off with a Stone Double Bastard after you’ve already had a few strong ones. I was in a good deal of physical pain for weeks afterwards. *** TIM FARRELL (Miskatonic): Once my friend Ed and myself were getting hammered at a bar when he sees this table full of cute girls and buys two pitchers of beer and starts heading for them, dancing and spilling beer the whole way. Amazingly he makes it to the table with the pitchers in tact, slams them down on the table and says, “let’s drink!” Surprisingly they were totally psyched! Unfortunately, he then lost his balance, fell into the table and sent the beer flying everywhere. Then he just gets up and walks away. I was laughing so hard I nearly peed myself. *** SHAUN WOLF WORTIS (Gato Malo): Once saw a guy make love to a bed of flowers. He had dug a hole in the dirt and was pumping away. Granted, he was on MDMA at the time, as well as being drunk. *** EMSTERLY (The Noise): At a party last winter, a really drunk girl decided to do a somersault over the beer pong table. Next thing I knew, there was blood everywhere and she had to be rushed to the hospital. She ended up with two missing teeth, lots of hospital bills, and her jaw wired shut for six weeks. I guess she was lucky because she was so drunk at the time that breaking her jaw didn’t hurt too much. *** TIM CASEY (Chillgroove): I saw a drunk take a dump on the trolley stop at Brigham Circle. He was shuffling along while kind of wiping his rear against the jersey barrier, so he was leaving a trail against the wall and droppings on the platform. I was in high school; it was a searing hot day and everyone was sweating profusely on the bus I was riding. That was the grossest experience I’ve ever had. *** SIMON RITT (The Darlings): Once an uninvited drunk person entered the old, upstairs dressing room at Bunratty’s moments before whatever big show I was about to play. It was a small space and he was stoned, smashed, loaded and loud. After briefly raising some good-natured hell he split. As he stumbled out the door I looked next to me on the small couch where Mr. Drunk Guy had just been sitting and found the large bag of marijuana that moments before he had been waving around like a big shot. That night I played like a god! *** PETER RINNING (QRSTs): A long, long, long time ago… an ex-girlfriend had just bought a new Honda CRX and we decided to celebrate. As the evening wore on, she became too drunk to drive (I was less drunk). As we were driving home, she was in the passenger seat and was not in good shape. She had to throw up and thought her window was open—but alas, it was not! She puked all over her brand new car. Nice way to break it in. *** KEN FIELD (Revolutionary Snake Ensemble/ Birdsongs of the Mesozoic): A number of years ago in an unnamed city, a member of a group I was playing with got very drunk after a gig. We were staying at the home of a well-known musician with whom we shared the bill. Two of us were crashing in that musician’s garage recording studio. In the middle of the night I heard some noise—my fellow band-member had gotten up to relieve himself against the side of the garage, but apparently he was too drunk to realize that he was doing so from the inside, not the outside, of the garage. *** JOHN BLOUT (Watts): I witnessed a drunk girl climb up into the rafters during one of the Stones shows at Fenway. She lost her grip and fell from the highest point she reached. She somehow landed on her feet and shattered her ankles. She’s lucky that’s all she shattered! *** MIKE DIPLOMAT (The Flashing Reds): After a solid night of drink at the Middle East, I saw a friend of mine pretend that he was a car in Central Square. He kept running into Mass. Ave. saying, “I need to make the light, I need to make the light.” He finally came to his senses when one of the Cambridge renegade bikers (you know, pro-environment/ car attack dogs) almost ran him over. It is safe to say that I was able to straighten him out with a little cheese wiz (take that ozone layer) before he crashed on my couch—shaved eyebrows is so 1986. *** GLENN WILLIAMS (LowBudget Records): I once saw a guy at a house party take a big bite out of this plant with huge green leaves on it. It turned out to be this super poisonous thing from the Orient. His face blow up and his gums began to bleed. To top it off the alcohol enhanced the reaction. We all thought he was a dead guy. Thank goodness he pulled through, but the idiot was sick for three weeks. Moral, never mix wild vegetation with booze. At least oriental vegetation. *** JOHN BEAUDETTE (Destroy Babylon): One night during a kegger in the suburbs, my friend and I thought it would be funny to try on the dog’s electric collar and run as fast as we could through the electric fence. We dropped like drunken flies once we got past the invisible line, and needless to say, we were wasted enough to just barely feel the giant welts left on our necks. Lolita: I hope you got that on videotape. I’m sure it could end up in one of those masochistic movies or at least America’s Funniest Home Videos. {mospagebreak title=CLUBLAND}


Rita: Now here are some shows that may just want to videotape. BAKER releases their CD at T.T’s on Friday, 10/5. *** Same night the Midway celebrates 20 years with LOVEWHIP and the Whippettes. *** On Wednesday, 10/10, CASEY DESMOND sings in four octaves at Great Scott. *** LIZ BORDEN & THE AXES’ CD release is at Church on Friday, 10/12. *** Same night JOHN POWHIDA’S INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT takes off at the Lizard Lounge. *** Hardcore fans will check out GANG GREEN at the Basement on Friday, 10/19. *** Wednesday, 10/24, at the Abbey is The Fall Progtacular featuring the Boston progressive rock tribute band—PROGZILLA. *** On Friday, 10/26, SARAH BORGES plays Johnny D’s. *** GIRL ON TOP headlines the Club Bohemia Halloween show on Saturday, 10/27, in the basement of the Cantab. *** HO-AG does the Butthole Surfers on Tuesday, 10/30, at the Middle East. Lolita: See you there.

Rita: The Noise needs your support if you’d like to see it continue into 2008. Lolita: We keep our ad rates low so bands and small businesses can afford effective promotion in a magazine that doesn’t have its nose so far up in the air that it can’t smell its own shit. Choose The Noise, or lose The Noise. We count on your support.

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