OUR EYES ON YOU March 2007

Rita and Lolita

Rita: Welcome to The Noise’s first online-only issue. Lolita:
We’ll be back to stain your hands with ink and provide your birdcages
with inexpensive wall-to-wall carpeting in April. But for now, peer
into the glowing box and learn a little more about the people who play
rock in New England. Rita: Lolita, do you have any ideas for the Question of the Month? Lolita: When people don’t know what to say they usually talk about the weather. Rita: That’s not a bad idea. Put on your sparkly pink coat and get outside and ask everyone: “What’s your take on global warming?” Lolita: But it’s freezing out. Rita: Just think, without global warming, it would be colder out there…

{mospagebreak title=GLOBAL WARMING}

GLOBAL WARMING

KEN CMAR (Wonderdrug
Records): Damn, this is a really hot issue that just gets me steamed
when I think about it. I swear, if anyone else says to me that global
warming really isn’t happening I'm just gonna reach my boiling point.
*** BRYN BENNETT (Bang Camaro): It's obvious that global
warming is just a cyclical weather pattern being exploited by bleeding
heart liberals. The same could be said about the war in Iraq. I mean,
there have always been wars, and some go well and some don't. It's not
the end of the world. *** KERRI-ANN RICHARD (Apple Betty):
Considering my day-to-day life as a scientist, environmentalist, and
general observer of things, I would say I have a realistic take on
global warming. It is a case of fact supporting common sense. As beings
who populate, pollute, and waste the way humans do, it is reasonable to
suspect and easy to prove that our behavior effects our natural
environment. Raised in the Star Trek generation, it makes sense to me
that for the past 40-plus years we look to the stars as our planet, in
fact, becomes no longer sustainable or habitable. Progress, anyone? ***
DAMIAN DAVID (4” Stud): The global warming debate has turned
into a pointless playground match of the good ol’ “my daddy can kick
your daddy’s ass” game. There is supposedly great research that
supports all sides of the global warming topic, yet there isn't a
unanimous perspective. If you ask me, who gives a shit? I mean really,
what’s the point? The point is that we don’t spend half the time
working towards the common goal of human survival in a changing world
than we do arguing about it. *** SHAUN WOLF WORTIS (Gato Malo):
My mom lives on an island near Seattle where bizarre climate changes
(10 degrees, 75 mph winds) destroyed much of the old growth Northwest
forest. She received a notice from the Sierra Club suggesting not
replanting the indigenous alder and fir trees but to plant California
trees instead (like redwoods and sequoias) as they are convinced these
climate changes are permanent. That's the conservative Sierra
Club. I say fuck anyonewho doesn't believe this is confirmed, accepted
by anyone above a fifth grade education, and seriously bad news. *** ELAINE O’ROURKE
(Elaine O’Rourke): I know we are destroying the planet and global
warming is not a good thing, but really, who wants these freezing ass
cold winters…let’s face it, there is nothing sexy about having to wear
layers of clothing. *** PETER C. JOHNSON (Peter C. Johnson):
Draft Al Gore! I'll be long gone when the shit hits the fan, but some
of you youngsters are going to suffer the consequences. In the
meantime, sell those beachfront mega-mansions you bought with your CD
Baby royalties! *** ELI CP (…And People And Crocodiles…):
Global warming is clearly in full effect. Outside our need to reduce
emissions (a fact), I think people should drive less in general. It is
better for our souls and bodies, and you notice interesting things on
the sidewalks and streets when you walk and bike. Cars are blind to
these joys. *** ANDREW P. COHEN (Dieselhoürse): Global warming
is among the most important homeland security issues facing the US
today. Although the threat to our homeland is not imminent, it is
persistent and ever growing. Our elected officials on both state and
federal levels need to implement economy-wide measures to cut fossil
fuel emissions and promote research and adoption of renewable energy
technologies. The US is paralyzed by narrow self-interest. We must
break the shackles of oil dependence and act now to curb global warming
if we want our children's homeland to remain secure and prosperous in
centuries to come.
*** ROBIN UMBLEY (The Noise): Instead
of buying a house in Beverly, my hometown, which will be swamped, I'm
going to buy a place in Franconia Notch, where I'll be able to take the
boat across a few channels to that famous tropical island with the
lousy weather, Mt. Washington. *** WALTER SICKERT (Walter
Sickert & The Army of Broken Toys): The President told me global
warming is greatly exaggerated and I believe ever single lie that comes
out of his twisted little rich bitch cowboy mouth. *** CHRIS BROWN
(8mm Fuzz): Global warming is extremely detrimental to the world in
which we live. Aliens from as far as MeO-5 have long been siphoning off
portions of our ozone layer for their own sinister purposes, and it is
time that they are stopped. If we act now and strike first, perhaps we
can make a difference. Keep in mind that we must be stealth and covert
as they do walk among us. If you have any further questions, please do
not hesitate to ask. Thank you for contacting 8mm Fuzz and have a great
day! *** DOCTOR X (Lowbudget Records): Most people, especially
politicians, lack the imagination to appreciate the disruption to our
lives that global warming will bring. Forget the weather problems—when
crops no longer yield food, its going to get pretty ugly all over the
world. It's too bad the Supreme Court appointed Bush president back in
2000. Gore would have already been dealing with global warming—the
biggest problem humans have ever faced. *** FRANCIS DI MENNO (Wrong Hero/ The Noise):
Consumers have been gamed by the multinationals, who, thus far, have
done a very thorough job of greenwashing in regards to global warming.
Ultimately, the only way the United States will act to improve its
record on greenhouse gas emissions is if consumers are persuaded to
work together to drive the market in greener directions. *** GENE JOHNSON
(Splint): Global warming is real and its aftermath is coming to a
planet near us soon. It seems like more and more movies, documentaries
and scientific studies are pointing to some sobering facts. The main
fact seems to be that some major changes on our good earth are about to
take place. However, I don't think that humans are on the endangered
species list. We'll just need to put The Middle East club deeper in the
ground some day. I'm not sure if driving hybrids is the answer but
conserving energy and cutting pollution is never a bad practice. *** FORREST MUELRATH
(Little Wooden Angels): Three things on the topic of global warming: NO
MORE AMERICAN BABIES! Because American babies are BORN TO KILL ANGELS!
Drop out and join a yurt commune. Be willing to be nothing more than
the sun and the sea. *** JAKE HALL (Self Righteous Brothers):
Global warming is an issue that concerns many of us. Is mankind doomed?
Yes. Have we always been doomed? Yes. How did we get here? Clear
cutting the rainforest? Well, yes partially. But, the Self Righteous
Brothers didn’t have anything to do with that. Did you? Lolita:
Wait a second—I heard that the Self Righteous Brothers used toilet
tissue to wipe their asses. Where do you think that tissue came from? I
also heard that the band lives in a house that has a wooden frame—hmmm,
another product derived from trees. And thirdly I saw one of the
members walking out of a fast food joint that is known for clearing
rainforest to make fields for the cows to graze. We’re all guilty by
association—every one of us. *** KAREN BARNICLE (Barnicle):
Battling global warming will be the great war of my generation.
Barnicle the band is fortunate enough to use a van that runs on
straight waste vegetable oil to get to our shows. Even if you are
unable to buy a hybrid or convert your vehicle, there is something
every single person reading this sentence can do today to be more
energy efficient. Rita: Karen is right. Some things are so basic—like (a) turning off lights in your house that don’t need to be on, (b) limit your driving (and do it within the speed limit), (c) turn your freakin’ thermostat down—wear a hoodie to keep warm. Lolita: I prefer another body to keep me warm.

{mospagebreak title=ROCK NEWS}

 

ROCK NEWS

Rita: While Lolita takes a body out of her oven and wraps it
around her, I’ll deliver the news you don’t get to hear on Fox. WBCN’s
29th Annual Rock ’n’ Roll Rumble preliminaries will run from April 1–
April 7. The semi-finals are on Friday, April 13 and Saturday, April
14, and the finals are on Friday, April 20. And remember—the event is
at Harpers Ferry this year. *** ROB KLEINER (Ways to Fall)
correctly answered the question “What late-night TV show host would
randomly burst out ‘schmock schmock’ and get a laugh?” The answer is
Steve Allen. Rob wins a quarter page ad in The Noise. *** THE MOTION SICK and DAMONE were invited by Spin magazine to be a part of their Artist of the Year matchup in early February. *** Drummer SEAN D
(St. Helena) cut up his left hand and needed surgery. *** Some of the
biggest names in rock ’n’ roll (The Rolling Stones, Red Hot Chili
Peppers, Bad Company) have donated funds and sit on the board of Right
Turn, an Arlington, MA-based non-profit organization specializing in
mental health and addiction treatment for creative people. Their
unwavering support has allowed Right Turn to expand its services and
continue serving artists in need. For more information call
781-646-3800 or visit www.right-turn.biz. *** KIER BYRNES announced that Rodfest
raised $20,000, creating a fully endowed scholarship that will help
needy students. Read a review of the show
here—www.thenoise-boston.com/live_reviews. *** The Verge College Music
Conference invades Boston on April 19-21. Over 100 artists will perform
in venues on Landsdowne Street over the three–day festival. Go to www.vergeconference.com for more info. *** The Paradise Lounge gallery is featuring Dig Art: Best Covers of 2006, a collection of The Weekly Dig
cover art. The opening reception is on Thursday, March 1, and the
exhibit runs through April 7. *** Thirty-two bands will compete in the
13th annual WBCN/Berklee College of Music Battle of the High School
Bands on March 24, March 25, March 31, April 1, with the finals on
April 14—all at Harper’s Ferry. Shows run from 1:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m.
For more information and how to get your band into the event, go to www.aftermidnightmusic.com. *** EMILY GROGAN’s mom band, HRT, was on the Today show on 2/15. *** JOHNNY ANGEL (Blackjacks/ Swinging Erudites) stars as a cardboard sign-carrying homeless guy in a VW commercial. *** ANDY PRATT (of “Avenging Annie” fame) has released his autobiography, Shiver in the Night. Go to www.itsaboutmusic.com/andypratt.html and read excerpts from it. *** BEEFY/DC has a book about them out. Rita: You’re kidding, right? Lolita: Oh, it’s called AC/DC Maximum Rock & Roll (www.acdcbook.com)—it’s about the band that copies BEEFY/DC. *** JEN TRYNIN’s book, Everything I’m Cracked Up to Be, has been re-released in paperback. Check www.jentrynin.com. Lolita:
I started reading the paperback version—and it’s just like the hard
cover one. I was expecting it to be in hi-def or something. Rita:
I read it too, for the first time, and everyone who’s part of the music
scene should read this—just to learn the nasty truth about the business
you’re in.

{mospagebreak title=YOUR FAVORITE CLUB}

YOUR FAVORITE CLUB

Lolita: Did you just say “urin”? Rita: No, I said, “you’re in.” Lolita: Oh, I must have smelled the scent of an old favorite club. Rita:
Your senses are heading you in the direction—go ask a new question—ask
“What club do you frequent most often to hear live music?” DICK TATE
(The Prime Movers/ Middle East): The Middle East because I serve
society as a musical lab rat. I'm exposed to more new bands in a month
then is healthy to most life forms. If I don't convulse, vomit, or
break out in hives, we let them come back and play again. *** NANCY NEON (The Noise):
Right now I see more live bands at the Kirkland because I book bands
there monthly. I'm comfortable there because it is perfectly climate
controlled. The club is warm and intimate, giving you the feeling of
being at a private party. If you are hungry, you can grab a tasty
inexpensive meal. MC Mickey Bliss makes you feel welcome, which always
adds to the spirit of fun. Dave, the doorman, is personable and
professional. Last but not least, the Kirkland is one of the few places
where people still dance to live music. In fact, on NEON NITES, dancing
is MANDATORY! *** JAY ALLEN (Jay Allen): My new favorite rock
haunt is Martin Doyle’s newest venture: The Basement at The Baseball
Tavern. Been there four times in the opening two weeks. Good layout,
good sound system, pool tables, good people. Long-time favorite is, of
course, The Abbey—very underrated sound system there. If your band
doesn’t sound good at The Abbey, you probably sound bad everywhere. Of
course both clubs are also very good at giving me the Norm treatment
when I walk in the door, you know—everyone knows my name. Good for the
ego. *** RAY MASON (Ray Mason Band/ Lonesome Brothers): Seeing
as I live in Western Mass. I would have to say the Iron Horse Music
Hall in Northampton. The sound is great and even though the capacity is
around 180 or more it still feels like you're watching someone play in
your living room. Very intimate! *** CARLENE BAROUS (Temper/x-Din): I’m an equal-opportunity club goer. The clubs I go to are those that The Noise readers
probably go to as well: the clubs that support local original rock. The
clubs that support original rock are the ones taking the biggest risk.
They’re probably losing money half the time. Okay, probably more. Yet
with the risk, is also the potential for an exciting payoff, and I
appreciate those clubs that share in that excitement and that support
the potential. It’s actually pretty important to me that I support the
various rock clubs and not focus on one necessarily. *** RYAN BRAY (The Noise):
The Middle East Club in Cambridge—the place just feels like rock ’n’
roll. I remember seeing my first shows (that’s shows, not concerts,
people) buried in the club’s trenches, and I guess the memories I’ve
accumulated over the years, whether it be the Rancid/Pietatsters show
in 1998, the Amazing Crowns in 2000, or the half a dozen times I’ve
seen the Ducky Boys and Big D & the Kids Table, have always stuck
with me. *** DENNY MAFFEO (Plasma Factory): Even though
rock ’n’ roll flows through my veins, I love going to the Kirkland to
watch The Mickey Bliss Organ Combo. Mickey plays with such intensity
it’s awesome, plus Mickey is one of the greatest guys to deal with. I
like going to the Skybar too, because of Anderson Mar—she's a sweet
heart! *** LIZ BORDEN (Liz Borden Band/Bang Chicks): I have
been going to the Abbey a lot! Why? They have great bands. It seems
like the best lineup of bands have been playing every night. I really
like the Abbey because it has the feel of the old Boston clubs that are
now gone. It reminds me of the old Boston rock scene. I also like the
mix of people. I can see old friends and faces and there are a lot of
people newer to the scene enjoying the music. It is a very cool
environment. *** B.A. KINNAR (Kinnar): For the most bang for
your buck, I'd have to go with the Middle East Upstairs. It’s like
three shows in one. Show #1: Pear Kinnar eating lamb tongue or
sheep-anus or whatever he usually orders in the restaurant. Show #2:
the actual bands. Show #3: the Circus-freak, dregs-of-humanity sideshow
that swarms in and around Hi-Fi Pizza between 11:00 and 1:00. My
runner-up is actually a tie between all of the Allston clubs, because
of the infinite opportunities the area provides for convenient parking.
It's almost like taking a leisurely autumn foliage-peeping drive
through Concord. *** FRANK STROM (The Noise): I go out
for favorite bands not clubs, so that takes me wherever they play.
Lately that's been the Kirkland (Beat Lords), Skybar (Ghouls Night
Out), and even Good Times Emporium (The Downbeat 5). The only clubs
I've ever frequented when I wasn't coming for a specific band were the
Abbey Lounge (homey atmosphere and great staff), and the much-missed
Elvis Room up in Portsmouth, New Hampshire (a punk coffee bar!). Also
kudos to Dodge Street Grill in Salem, Mass.—another excellent place for
music. *** Lolita: I’ll tell you an excellent place to hear
music—my bedroom. I wish bands would set up on top of my dresser and
play me to sleep.

{mospagebreak title=MUSICAL CHAIRS}

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Rita: First of all, your dresser is too small, and what makes you think you could sleep if a band was playing? Lolita: No reason for you to ruin my scheme to get bands back to my room. Rita: Here are some new bands that might be looking for a dresser gig. SHAWN McLAUGHLIN (Crazy Alice/ The Collisions) is back from a two-year hiatus and is working with SHAH HADJEBI (bass), PETER HANSON (keys), DERRIK ALBERTELLI (guitar), MARK BOWDEN (guitar) and TARO HATANAKA (violin) to complete the second CD for his solo project Smorgasbord. *** THE MASONS includes DAVE NARCIZO (Throwing Muses) and JEFFREY UNDERHILL (Velvet Crush). They recently released a CD called Let You Down Easy. *** Hackman, a heavy three-piece with sparse vocals, features former members of Milligram and Lamont. *** JOE FELLONIhas joined HOWIEHOWIE on guitar. *** ETTO GREEN (x-Psychotic Larry) is in a new band called WHITE (along with members of DRINKFIST and NULLSET). *** MIKE MALONE
(x-Dirt Merchants) is mining the raw energy of pre-electric American
roots music with ORB MELLON. *** REVEREND GLASSEYE played their
farewell show on Saturday, 2/24, and are relocating to Austin, Texas.
*** FRANK SMITH (the band, not the man) also played their farewell show
on Saturday, 2/24, and moved to Texas. Lolita: Did the two
bands run away together? *** Apunkalypse Now is a punk rock cover band
that includes members from The Freeze, The Peasants, Beefy/DC, The
Dents, and The Straw Dogs. *** MISKA TONIC is TIM FERRELL(x-Ultrabreakfast) on guitar, vocals; PAUL WISNER (x-Calendar Girl/Ultrabreakfast) on synths, guitar, vocals; STEVE KELLY(x-Cheater Pint) on bass; MARK PATTI on drums; and ELIZABETH FIRGER on vocals. *** Lolita: That reminds me, last month Silver Lining singer and Noise Board MP3 moderator, ANNA PRICE,
sent in her Top 10 Gingers. We thought it was cute that Anna was using
some London street slang. We all know what a ginger is—right? Well, it
turns out that Anna really meant to type Singer. So all ten of those
people she listed can stop worrying about if they are a ginger. Though
we’re sure some of them are. Now all we need is a definition of a
ginger. Anyone?

{mospagebreak title=FAVORITE WEBSITE}

FAVORITE WEBSITE

Rita: I would think a ginger is a very likable extrovert with a little spring in his or her step. JPo (The Rudds) must be a ginger. Lolita: Anna listed him as the top local ginger—so I’m positive he’s a ginger. Look at his picture at www.myspace.com/therudds. Rita:
Yup. He’s a ginger. While we’re cruising for bands on the internet
highway, how ’bout we find out where people really enjoy going. Lolita
go ask “What is your favorite website?” Lolita: My legs are getting tired of running around; can I just email people this question? Rita: Go ahead, you’ll have to deal with the cellulite, not me. Lolita: Okay, where are my cowboy boots? I mean, “What is your favorite website?” JASON HALOGEN (The Luxury/States and Capitols): I'd have to say wwtdd.com—with
all the typos and factual errors, this guy still beats the crap out of
the easiest targets in the world in a way that makes me smile on a
daily basis. My roommate keeps gossip mags in the bathroom that offer
no catharsis (even on a long visit, and we all know how cathartic that
is). The true catharsis is when you watch the fake Tyler Durden rip
into those same headlines with talons of remorseless steel. AAAAH,
CATHARSIS. Wow, that's a good band name. Catharsis & the Evil
Twins. *** KIER BYRNES (Three Day Threshold):I find the
Sonicbids site, www.sonicbids.com, very useful because their in-depth
access to the music industry locally, nationally, as well as globally.
*** ADAM PAYNE (2Adam12): My absolute favorite website is best not to be mentioned… but my second favorite website to visit is definitely www.craigslist.com.
They have everything on there! Most of the furniture in my apartment is
from there, a lot of gigs we used to book were found on there, and it's
a great place to see what's going on in any city at any time. Also,
when I'm having a bad day, I just peep at the “rants and raves”
section, and everything is peachy keen once again. *** NICOLE TAMMARO (Nicole Tammaro Photography) www.masslottery.com —I check this every morning…waiting to hit that big jackpot and my pale white ass is outta Boston for warmer surroundings. *** CARL BIANCUCCI (Classic Ruins): The one, the only www.thenoise-boston.com
of course. News, reviews and the "NB," where I find out what everyone's
Friday Five is, why Bush sucks, the latest Sox happenings, why Bush
blows, what everyone's favorite Thin Lizzy album is, why Bush eats it,
and of course where Classic Ruins might be playing. What's not to love?
*** JUSTIN BROOKS (BAD ASH): Myspace would definitely be the
most visited site for me. Good way to keep on top of things going on,
and keep people informed as to what the band is up to. *** TIM EMSWILER (The Noise): As if my nerd status needed further confirmation; my favorite website is www.straightlinemodeler.org,
a site devoted to people who not only build model cars, but also
specialize in models of drag racing cars. It's better than hanging out
with these freaks in person. ***Crazy Eddie Nowik (Gene Dante & the Future Starlets/ Bentmen):www.harmony-central.com—I
know this sounds so lame! But I’m obsessed with what other people think
of music gear! I like this flanger! I hate this flanger! Wow! Maybe it
is good after all. It’s the first site I hit every morning. *** JORDAN CARP (Jordan Carp): Favorite website: tie between www.nrp.org and www.famouspornstars.com. NRP for the stories and news. Famous porstars—same. ***Rob Kleiner (Ways To Fall) www.nasa.gov
—I love looking at the information that they are getting from all the
satellites, probes and crap we have out in space. Did you know that
Voyager 1 and 2 are STILL sending back information? They have been
going for 25 years and are 9.3 billion miles away! If NASA can make
something that goes that far and lasts that long, why doesn’t my Ford
Focus have heated seats? I wonder if the space station has fuzzy dice.
*** Glenwood (The Noise): I go to www.amazon.com
the most to eyeball the endless array of things I don’t need but
drunkenly purchase when I get caught in their headlights while swilling
beer at midnight. Winter is less bleak when I get home from work and
see a package at my door. Since I rarely remember what I order, it's a
surprise to boot. It's why I have an unmatched knife collection, a
silver tie, and two copies of The Princess Bride. *** BRIAN GOTTESMAN (Brian Gottesman): www.Reddit.com. I always find something worth checking out on whatever random topic, and it holds a slight edge over digg (too techie). *** CLAY N. FERNO (Wild Zero): Digg.com
has all of the latest updates on geeky computer news! I am going to get
an iPhone, but only because I heard about it before you! Lolita: How far are they going to take this iCrap? Ten years from now will we be looking for our iToilet? Rita: Try three.

{mospagebreak title=CLUBLAND}

CLUBLAND

Lolita: I’m headed out to the iClub tonight to hear my favorite iBands. Here’s what’s happening in the real world:  On Thursday, 3/15, SHOOT THE MOON pairs up with JADED at the Abbey Lounge. *** On Friday, 3/16, ANDREA GILLIS knocks out the crowd at Johnny D’s. ***PREACHER JACK
plays the Abbey Lounge at 9:00 on Saint Patty’s Day, 3/17. *** THREE
DAY THRESHOLD also plays on the greenest day of the year at the
Paradise. *** Another option on the green-beer holiday, for those who
still have the Rat running in their veins, is a Rat reunion (www.ratreunion.net/) at the Somerville VFW. *** GIRL ON TOP is part of the Club Bohemia Rock ’n’ Roll Revue
at The Kirkland on Friday, 3/23. *** Angeline’s CD release party is on
Friday, 3/23, and Saturday, 3/24, at the Lizard Lounge. *** BON SAVANTS
also play on Saturday, 3/24, at the Middle East Downstairs. *** SARAH BORGES displays her finesse at Johnny D’s on Saturday, 3/31. *** Looking forward to April, THE EVERYDAY VISUALS release Things Will Look Up at the Paradise on Saturday, 4/7—BLEU and TAXPAYER are also on the bill. Rita: We’ll see you back in print with the April issue on March 29. Lolita: I’ll see you back in my iRoom. I’ll be iWaiting.

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