ritalolita-image.jpgRita : Do you believe it's already time again to start picking up thoughtful gifts for everyone you care about? Lolita : I guess it's time to narrow down that “care about” list. I've got it down to two. Rita : Some people love giving presents every year. Lolita :
I'm tired of receiving re-gifted items that were never meant for me.
Maybe it would be a good idea to help people out with what gifts they
should be giving. Rita : We're in a good position to
help. Quick, get on the street and start asking people what gifts
they'd like. But to make it a little interesting, make them describe
the gift instead of just saying what it is. Lolita : Okay, I'll ask for a reply to, “Without saying what it is, describe a gift that you're hoping to get this holiday season.” MIKE PIEHL
(Reverse): The gift I am hoping to get this holiday season is the
opposite of being awake, it's not at all noisy and it rhymes with
“sheep.” It's actually spelled exactly like “sheep” but with an “L” in
place of the “H.” Figure this shit out yet? *** MONIQUE ORTIZ
(A.K.A.C.O.D./ Bourbon Princess): I don't believe in gift giving for
the holiday season. I prefer to cook big dinners for my friends or go
to big dinners with friends. *** MARTY WHITE (Mr.
Curt Ensemble): You know, I've been thinking, ever since my trip to
Hawaii in October, it's been a long time since I've had something aged
around 24 years that goes down real nice and easy, feels really warm
and smooth. You know what I'm saying? I know you know what I'm talking
about. And not to change the subject but that was a great choice for
centerfold in November. Rock on—you guys are the balls. *** KAREN DEBIASSE (Girl on Top): T Max and Liz with a bow. *** PETE DEGRAAF (The Black/ Clear the Way/ Lucky Dog Music Hall ): It's wet, sticky, smells like rock 'n' roll, and is at least 80 proof. Lolita : Pete, I had a little too much to drink at that party last week. Those front-bum shots will not be gifts for the holiday. *** ANNA PRICE
(The Silver Lining): What I'd like for Christmas would be a piece of
paper that I and four other people would have to sign that would
guarantee us enough money that we could all quit our day-jobs. Of
course, I already quit my day-job, but this piece of paper would render
that move an intelligent and well thought out one, rather than rash and
slightly retarded. *** ERIC WELSH (Tons Of Chill/
Chill House Studios): A gift does not have to be a physical thing. In
truth, I think that gifts are best presented with emotional attachment.
Our tradition of giving out items and cloth to each other is old news,
yet it is hard to break that tradition since someone buys you “a gift”
and you therefore buy them something in return. It doesn't make sense
in the big picture of life for me. The gift I would like is not
something one can buy; it's something that friends and/or family will
give to me that makes my life start kicking serious ass. Lolita : If I catch you kicking anyone's ass I'm gonna stop giving you steroids. *** EVIL TRAVIS
(The Evil Travis Condensation): A zipper truck. Please someone get me a
zipper truck so I can change the medians around on the southeast
expressway. Sorry, I know I wasn't supposed to say what it was, but I
really, really want one and how am I supposed to get one without saying
what it is? God bless the spirit of getting! *** MICHAEL EPSTEIN
(The Motion Sick/ Blitzkriegbliss): A light-haired being that agrees to
be in frequent close proximity to me for the remainder of her natural
existence. Lolita : You don't have to make it so blatant Michael, but you haven't even asked me on a date yet.



Tammy Long (Killer Abs) Photo: Nicole Tammaro


{mospagebreak title="Rock Notes"}


Rita : Instead of waiting to be asked on a
date—maybe you should look into the Rock 'n' Roll Social. It has
nothing to do with dating, but it turned four in November.
Congratulation to those social butterflies, MICHELLE AUERBACH , ANNGELLE WOOD , ANDREA GILLIS , and LEXI KAHN ,
for helping bands to build better networks every second Tuesday of the
month—now at the Model Café (7 Beacon Street, Allston). *** DAVE TREE (Superpower) was the only artist Boston artist in Sunset and St. Marks ,
an art exhibition that showcased artists from New York and LA. The
exhibition showed in Los Angeles at the Standard Hotel in November
2006. *** MUCK & THE MIRES are touring through Spain , France ,
Holland , Germany , Austria , and Switzerland this December. *** JADA
has signed with Universal/ Motown Records. *** Funk-rock foursome S
ucka Brown signed with Roho Records in New York . *** The Music Museum
Of New England is now online at www.mmone.org. *** MEREDITH BYAM MILLER 's
vintage, second-hand, and consigned women's fashion store Poor Little
Rich Girl has moved into a space seven times bigger at 255 Elm Street
in Somerville . *** Though due on 11/12/06, MAE PEARL ALLEN WATTS was in a bit of a rush to get here and was born on 11/4/06. She weighed in at 6 lb. 6 oz. and BRUCE ALLEN (Doom Buggies) is the proud second-time dad. *** MIKE RIVARD
(Club d'Elf) had his '61 Fender Jazz bass stolen on Thursday, 11/9, at
the Lizard Lounge, but though the magic of this great community Mike's
bass was returned. Lolita : Read Mike's words in the Incoming Mail column. It's the perfect story to get in the right mood for the holiday season.

{mospagebreak title="Where do you Shop?"}


Rita : Sometimes Lolita has a hard time getting
into the holiday spirit. Maybe if she visited some good places to shop
it could help her. Lolita : Like I care. But I can
play along—why don't I just ask everyone, “Where is your favorite place
to shop, and what do you buy there?” JIMMY BIRMINGHAM
(The Real Kids): My fave place to shop would be Newbury Comics. I can
never have enough CDs. It seems every time I see a store wherever I am,
no matter how late, I have to go in just in case I find that rare CD
I've been forever looking for… I still don't know what it is… but I
will find it! *** MERRIE AMSTERBURG (Merrie
Amsterburg): My favorite place to purchase strange and wonderful gift
items is Honeyspot—it's in Jamaica Plain, on South Street , near the
monument. They also sell local music and work by local artists, so it's
great that they support the community as well. An excellent place to
get peculiar holiday cards! *** RAY FERNANDEZ (Atlantics/ The Illegals): My favorite place to shop is Jack's Drum Shop. What do I buy? You're kidding right? Lolita : Do you know they sell Yamaha Guitars at Jack's Drum Shop? Do you buy them? Rayboy : No. I buy drum related stuff like sticks, heads, washers, and felts. Basically, stuff that breaks all the time. *** PETE SUTTON (Temper):
My favorite place to shop is Trader Joe's… not only have they
infinitely expanded the realm of salty snacks and cornered the market
on flash-frozen fish, they sell booze too… oh, and their frozen
dinners section has saved my marriage. *** WILLIE ALEXANDER
(… & the Boom Boom Band): Mystery Train in Gloucester . I don't buy
anything, I trade in CDs for credit to get new ones and I always leave
with something great from the free bins. It's the mother of all Mystery
Trains. *** JESSE PERKINS (Lorntell): Discount
Liquors! A huge selection of tasty beverages. I try to pick up
something I've never tried before every time I go—which is probably way
too often. *** NICOLE TAMMARO (Nicole Tammaro
Photography): My favorite place to shop is a new store called Horror
Business. It is next door to the Common, across the street from Harpers
Ferry . I love to buy my boots, belts, and all real cool punk clothing
there, plus the owners, Troy and Julie, are coolest couple in Boston .
*** AD FRANK (Fast Easy Women/ Lifestyle): Gumshoe [
40 South Street ] in Jamaica Plain has the best used men's clothes in
Boston . Uniform in the South End is also great for men's clothes, when
I can afford it. Lolita : Hey, Gumshoe is the store our buddy Otto runs. Ask him about the early days of the Rat. *** CLAY COUNT VON N. FERNO
(Wild Zero): I go to the Bodega on 6 Clearway Street , Boston , by the
McDonalds and Christian Science Center for all of my soda pop, candy,
and bleach. The soda is to keep me awake, the candy to raise my blood
sugar, and sometimes I use a little bleach on a Q-tip to keep my kicks
looking tight. Seriously, this store rules, beating competitor's prices
and the management will always surprise you with a smile. I just go
there mostly to hang out. *** JOEY BOY SPALLONE (Red
Invasion): Cafe Quattro on 4 Somerset St. in Beacon Hill . Great pizza,
sandwiches, soups, coffee, and a music playlist that includes The
Ramones, Heartbreakers, Stones, Ronettes, Sinatra, and so much more.
*** MIKE OOR (The SnowLeopards): Mr. Music, Rock
City Guitars, and Cambridge Music. Heidi and I have TOO MANY guitars
and amps! Also, just say no to Banjo Mart! *** VALERIE THOMPSON
(Fluttr Effect): Future Valerie will enjoy shopping at the Bazaar
Bizarre (bazaarbizarre.org) on 12/16 at the Cyclorama! Future Val will
be buying all of her family and friends “More Banjo Less Pants”
T-shirts for Christmas. Nothing spreads holiday cheer like crafty goods
with a punk attitude! Lolita : Looks like the banjo will be a controversial topic for the holidays. *** ERIC WATTS (Kevin
MacDonald Band): I shopped at Amazing [Express] for all my pornographic
needs… until it burned down! The re-grand opening is soon! Lolita :
There's more than one Amazing Express. I was just in the one at 1258
Boylston Street (opposite the old WBCN location) and I passed one on
Route 1 north on my way back from Norwood too. *** AJDA THE TURKISH QUEEN (Black Fortress of Opium): John Fluevog— 302 Newbury St .). Shoes, baby. *** PETER RINNIG (QRST's):
I love shopping at Proletariat in Harvard Square in the Garage.
Anything that you need for vintage wear or skateboarding stuff they
have. They also have tons of cool T-shirts with their own original
designs that you can't get anywhere else. I love their shirts! *** DAVID VIRR (WFNX/
Powderfinger Promotions): Amoeba Music in San Francisco . It's a great
place to spend an hour or a weekend. Last time I was there I picked up
a bumper sticker for my car that says, “I bought too many records at
Amoeba Music.” Oh yeah, and I also bought too many records. *** SHAUN WOLF WORTIS
(Gato Malo/ Mardi Gras/ Al Janik's Plastic Cheese Band): Buy art from
local artists (not really a place, per se, more just a good holiday
shopping tip). *** LINDA VIENS (Angeline/ Bang
Chicks): My favorite place to shop is New York City; either the tiny
funky boutiques all throughout the Lower East Side, West Village, etc.
or Canal Street in Chinatown where there is fun, glamorous, rockin'
stuff galore for super cheap: Check out my Gucci sunglasses baby… oh
yeah, five bucks! *** STEVE FOLSOM (JamSpot): Right
now… this month… Decathlon Sports. They are going out of business and
I'm buying things I never knew I needed for sports I've never even
tried yet. I bought soccer cleats and ice skates for my kids (and my
neighbors kids) for the next 10 years! Lolita : Thanks for the tip, Steve. Next year's Noise Board softball will have new bats, balls, and bases.

{mospagebreak title="Musical Chairs"}


Rita : Maybe the Noise Board Softball team should look for other teams to play. Lolita : How about Bang Chicks ? Rita : You mean estrogen's answer to the testosterone-fuel barrage that is BANG CAMARO? Lolita : Yes, I'll set up the game with spearheaders LIZZIE BORDEN and KELLY DAVIDSON. *** JOHN QUINCY MIRE (previously known as Hugh Beckett ) has joined MUCK & THE MIRES on bass. *** DIRTY TICKET has disbanded—which only means CORIN ASHLEY, DAVE ARRONOFF, ERIC SCHMIDER, and MATT B will have more time for new projects. *** See look—already CORIN ASHLEY is playing with Englishman MARTIN CARR (The Boo Radleys)— AD FRANK is playng with him too. *** Funeral Barkers include PHIL KAPLAN (Men & Volts) and BILLY LOOSIGIAN ( Willie Alexander & the Boom Boom Band ) . *** Drummer ROGER KNIGHT (Runner & the Thermodynamics) is now in a band is called The Novels . *** MELT picked up drummer SCOTT MAHER (Pure Fiction/ The Leon Rich Band). *** VALERIE THOMPSON
(Fluttr Effect) has been moonlighting with Jake Leg Jug Luggers
(rip-snorting raw old-time music) on acoustic cello or what some call
the church bass. *** ADAM BUHLER (x-Splashdown/ Countess) and KEITH SMITH
(x-Colbalt 60) have teamed up to form ANARCHY CLUB. *** TULSA is made
up from members of Carter Tanton , Runner & the Thermodynamics ,
and Appletown Gun Shop . *** MASCARA is looking for a full-time
bassist. Contact Chris at cmascara@mit.edu . *** Bassist JIM FARIS (Chaz & the Motorbikes) is moving to the Washington D.C. area and leaving the Motorbikes bassless. Lolita : He could always consider a long commute for each gig.

{mospagebreak title="How is Your Commute"}


Rita : I wonder what other people's commutes are like. Lolita : I get it—I'll ask a new question— “What is your commute to work like?” ERIN HARPE
(Lovewhip): Almost every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday I strap on my
three-inch tall red heels, sunglasses, and anything from hot pants to
an Eskimo outfit, depending on the weather, and drive! The driver's
seat in the Lovebus is too tall because it came out of another vehicle
(thus the heels). Then I drive anywhere from one to six hours, visiting
all the rest stops in New England and beyond for the umpteenth time.
Weather permitting, and traffic jams notwithstanding, we usually make
it to the gig on time. *** JONATHAN WYNER (M Works Mastering): A highly aerobic dash replete with near death experiences. *** TAD OVERBAUGH (The
Kickbacks): I drive into Boston … and it's like a stampede of buffalo
all trying to go through a garden hose for 17 miles. *** JON JOHNSON (Lenny & the Piss Poor Boys): I live in Wollaston and work in Kendall Square . The commute is very, very Chinese. *** NICK BLAKEY
(The In Out): When I took the bus to work, my commute was like crawling
through a constipated old woman the wrong way in. Now that I walk to
work, it's like a very pleasant acid flashback. *** ERIK LINDGREN (Birdsongs
of the Mesozoic/ Arf Arf Records): Ever since I morphed out to the
country and built a recording studio on my land, my commute is now a
mere 25 steps across my driveway. Or 24 if I'm under the influence of
caffeinated tea. *** C. MOON MULLINS (Ultrasonic
Rock Orchestra/ Damned Dirty Ape): Most of my commute is within the
Yavin system. The approach is not easy. I am required to maneuver
straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point. The
target area is only two meters wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port,
right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor
system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy
the station. *** WATER SICKERT (Walter Sickert &
the Army of Broken Toys): First I find the white rabbit; He usually
frequents Hubba Hubba on Mass. Ave. Once he finds a French tickler to
his liking, I follow him down his rabbit hole (where Manray use to be).
We free fall for about 30 minutes (in this time we discuss current
events and have some tea). When we land, we separate and I head toward
the Cold Wire Forest were I spend my time writing bedtime stories for
wire tooth animals. It's not a very extraordinary commute but I have
come to love it none the less. *** JOHNNY BARNES
(Johnny Barnes): Most of the year I ride my motorcycle to work. I work
the four to midnight shift as a patrol officer and detective for a
rural southeatern Mass. police department. It's about 15 miles and its
all through countryside. I used to work in Maine , but down here, there
are more deer. I have to watch out for deer crossing the roads. When I
ride home to my boat at the Fairhaven Shipyard after midnight I
literally have to dodge deer, possums, skunks, and turtles along the
roads of Rochester and Mattapoisett. *** CORIN ASHLEY
(Corin Ashley): My commute is a whimsical whirlpool of fantasy in my
sugar-powered, cloud-busting hovercraft (which masquerades as a Jetta).
It's me and my boy Harrison, playing a game we call “prisoner transfer”
wherein he squawks and squirms while I strap him down. Then I fire up
the old satellite radio and we laugh as Howard Stern asks strippers
trivia. Harrison likes it when they don't know who the vice president
is. If H takes a nap on the way to daycare, we stop at Drunkin' Nonuts,
but if he's awake we go to Starbucks together. He enjoys a grande chai
soy macchiato, but don't tell mommy. Lolita : No problem Corin, I'll call up Darcy and tell her not to read this issue of The Noise .

{mospagebreak title="Clubcrawl"}


Rita : I already tried to reach Darcy, but only got
a message that she's out drinking in the clubs with Harrison . Maybe
we'll run into them at one of these shows: AJDA THE TURKISH QUEEN entertains at Zuzu on Sunday, 12/3. *** THE SNOWLEOPARDS play Johnny D's on Thursday, 12/7. *** MICKEY BLISS celebrates his birthday on Saturday, 12/9, with APPLE BETTY headlining at The Kirkland. *** THE RUDDS lead The Noise holiday party at The Abbey on Saturday, 12/16. *** Aimee Mann 's
plays her First Annual Christmas Show at the Berklee Performance Center
on Sunday, 12/17. *** You can dance to THE CHICKEN SLACKS every
Thursday at The Cantab Lounge. *** MUCK & THE MIRES get T.T.'s
hoppin'on Saturday, 12/30. *** BANG CAMARO brings in the new year at
Middle East Downstairs on 12/31. Lolita : We'll be back in February with the Noise Poll results—you can vote right here on 12/13-12/29. Rita : Have a wonderful holiday season.

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